Prizes!

Rat Prizes Lounge!

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.
<p>[This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not]</p>

One Hundred Rats

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.

This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not

Seventy five Rat Points will buy you 100 rats. Alright exchange rat(e).

            75
            You need Rat Points 75 (you have 1269)

            75
            Unlocked with Rat Points 75 - you have 1269

The machine spits out a neat stack of one hundred rats onto the counter. Gross.

You've gained 100 x Rat (new total 262,798).

You've lost 75 x Rat Points (new total 1,269).


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 - Intrigued

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats: Intrigued

Crippling Debt

Crippling Debt 528,374 - Should probably learn when to quit

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Should probably learn when to quit:528374

Crippling Debt: Should probably learn when to quit

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Jail Zone is dull and boring. There are a variety of methods to diminish your Crime Level until you can leave here though.

This storylet will loop until you exit via Perhaps Not.

Always

Always

Wait.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Sit back, get comfortable and relax. Your crime level will diminish shortly.

            1
            You need Crime Level 1 (you have 1)

Search for rats

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Elsewhere, rats in a jail cell would be a sign of uncleanliness. Here, it's a sign of generous jail-keepers.

Send a message back home.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Maybe you can beg a Rat King to spring you out of this place.

Slip some rats to another jail dweller

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

A matter of luck: the odds are against you here.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Why not? It helps pass the time. Just try to avoid getting caught doing it.

            1000
            You need 1,000 x Rat  (you have 772671)

            1
            You need Crime Level 1 (you have 1)

            1000
            Unlocked with 1,000 x Rat  - you have 772671

            1
            Unlocked with Crime Level 1 - you have 1

Send One Thousand Rats

[Actor] has sent you one thousand rats. Don't question where you're going to keep them. The Rat Zone will handle the storage. All shall be rat, and all manner of thing shall be rat. So it is said.

[Participants] has received a Rat Gift from you. Your Rat Points score benefits accordingly.

Continue your study

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Not much left, now. But still too much.

            5
            You need Reading the Rat Codes 5 and Reading the Rat Codes no more than 5 (you have 5)

            5
            Unlocked with Reading the Rat Codes 5 - you have 5

Re-read the Rat Codes

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Perhaps you lost track of the thread of lunacy somewhere. Or maybe you just want to start over.

            1
            You need Reading the Rat Codes 1 (you have 5)

            1
            You need Crime Level 1 (you have 1)

            1
            Unlocked with Reading the Rat Codes 1 - you have 5

            1
            Unlocked with Crime Level 1 - you have 1


Life in Jail Zone

Unlocked with Crime Level 1 - you have 1

Rat Penance

Send some rats outside to the Rat Zone to reduce your sentence slightly...

Always

Always


Prizes!

Rat Prizes Lounge!

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.
<p>[This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not]</p>

One Hundred Rats

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.

This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not

Seventy five Rat Points will buy you 100 rats. Alright exchange rat(e).

            75
            You need Rat Points 75 (you have 1194)

            75
            Unlocked with Rat Points 75 - you have 1194

The machine spits out a neat stack of one hundred rats onto the counter. Gross.

You've gained 100 x Rat (new total 262,898).

You've lost 75 x Rat Points (new total 1,194).


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Send some rats outside to the Rat Zone to reduce your sentence slightly. There won't be any indication that they actually came from Jail Zone though.

Always

Always

Just one hundred

Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

That's all that's legal.

            100
            You need 100 x Rat  (you have 772671)

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Rat  - you have 772671

Send One Hundred Rats

You've received quite a reasonable sum of rats from [Actor], but not a king's bounty. Far from a Rat King's bounty.


Always

Always


Prizes!!

Rat Prizes Lounge!

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.
<p>[This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not]</p>

One Thousand Rats

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.

This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not

500 Rat Points will buy you 1000 Rats. Better exchange rate!

            500
            You need Rat Points 500 (you have 694)

            500
            Unlocked with Rat Points 500 - you have 694

The vending machine whirrs, and shoots out a clod of rats directly at you. Fortunately, the physics of Rat Zone teleport the rats directly into the metaphysical plane where rats are stored. Thanks, physics!

You've gained 1,000 x Rat (new total 263,898).

You've lost 500 x Rat Points (new total 694).


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Send some rats outside to the Rat Zone to reduce your sentence slightly. There won't be any indication that they actually came from Jail Zone though.

Always

Always

Just one hundred

Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

That's all that's legal.


Always

Always


Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Jail Zone is dull and boring. There are a variety of methods to diminish your Crime Level until you can leave here though.

This storylet will loop until you exit via Perhaps Not.

Always

Always

Wait.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Sit back, get comfortable and relax. Your crime level will diminish shortly.

Search for rats

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Elsewhere, rats in a jail cell would be a sign of uncleanliness. Here, it's a sign of generous jail-keepers.

Send a message back home.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Maybe you can beg a Rat King to spring you out of this place.

Slip some rats to another jail dweller

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

A matter of luck: the odds are against you here.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Why not? It helps pass the time. Just try to avoid getting caught doing it.

Continue your study

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Not much left, now. But still too much.

Re-read the Rat Codes

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Perhaps you lost track of the thread of lunacy somewhere. Or maybe you just want to start over.


Prizes!

Rat Prizes Lounge!

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.
<p>[This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not]</p>

One Hundred Rats

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.

This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not

Seventy five Rat Points will buy you 100 rats. Alright exchange rat(e).

            75
            You need Rat Points 75 (you have 619)

            75
            Unlocked with Rat Points 75 - you have 619

The machine spits out a neat stack of one hundred rats onto the counter. Gross.

You've gained 100 x Rat (new total 263,998).

You've lost 75 x Rat Points (new total 619).


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Always

Always


Prizes!!

Rat Prizes Lounge!

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.
<p>[This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not]</p>

One Thousand Rats

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.

This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not

500 Rat Points will buy you 1000 Rats. Better exchange rate!

            500
            You need Rat Points 500 (you have 119)

            500
            Unlocked with Rat Points 500 - you have 119

The vending machine whirrs, and shoots out a clod of rats directly at you. Fortunately, the physics of Rat Zone teleport the rats directly into the metaphysical plane where rats are stored. Thanks, physics!

You've gained 1,000 x Rat (new total 264,998).

You've lost 500 x Rat Points (new total 119).


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Jail Zone is dull and boring. There are a variety of methods to diminish your Crime Level until you can leave here though.

This storylet will loop until you exit via Perhaps Not.

Always

Always

Wait.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Sit back, get comfortable and relax. Your crime level will diminish shortly.

Search for rats

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Elsewhere, rats in a jail cell would be a sign of uncleanliness. Here, it's a sign of generous jail-keepers.

Send a message back home.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Maybe you can beg a Rat King to spring you out of this place.

Slip some rats to another jail dweller

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

A matter of luck: the odds are against you here.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Why not? It helps pass the time. Just try to avoid getting caught doing it.

Continue your study

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Not much left, now. But still too much.

Re-read the Rat Codes

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Perhaps you lost track of the thread of lunacy somewhere. Or maybe you just want to start over.


Always

Always


Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Send some rats outside to the Rat Zone to reduce your sentence slightly. There won't be any indication that they actually came from Jail Zone though.

Always

Always

Just one hundred

Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

That's all that's legal.


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Rataholics Anonymous

Need to discuss your rat issues, or maybe just find some hapless victim to dump rats onto?

Sending Rats!

Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 264998

Rat Prizes Lounge!

Unlocked with Rat Points 1 - you have 119

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest...

The Crime Shack

Unlocked with Crime Level 1 - you have 3

Only visible if you are at least slightly tainted with Crime, the Crime Shack is the place where the Crime Squads hang out, sit back, drink a Brew and regret it intensely...

Rat Tournament!

Unlocked with Tournament Standing 1 - you have 1

The Objective Outhouse

In a mysterious shack, in a mysterious place, a mysterious individual answers mysterious...

Always

Always

Rat Fight

A scavenger bets you that his rat collection is better than yours...

Ratco Clerking

////Cler-- wait, no, Absolutely No Plagiarism here...


Rat Tournament!

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

Aaaaare you ready to ratble? I sure hope so! I don't know how a ratble is achieved but there's one happening right now.

Winning will move you up a branch in the tournament. You will get a tenth of the loser's rats. Losing moves you back a branch, and will cost you some rats. Most actions may loop back, requiring a Perhaps Not to leave so you can do other things.

Always

Always

First Challenger!

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

A straightforward challenge

The first bracket of the tournament has you facing off against Karen the Ratter. Not much to say except good luck!

Refreshments!

There are several refreshments stalls just at the fringe of the action. Maybe you can get something for free, being a competitor and all.

You have this Golden Rat, other people don't have Golden Rats. Better make the most of it and gloat about it!

            1
            You need 1 x Golden Rat  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Golden Rat

Gloat

[Actor] has a Golden Rat and you don't! And they're gloating about it! What a jerk.

You gloated about your possession of the Golden Rat to [Participants]. Hope it makes you feel better.

The Gambling Tent

A shady tent some way out from the refreshment stalls is the #1 location for betting and gambling at this event.


Always

Always


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Always

Always

Just one hundred

Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

That's all that's legal.


The Crime Shack

Only visible if you are at least slightly tainted with Crime, the Crime Shack is the place where the Crime Squads hang out, sit back, drink a Brew and regret it intensely. Maybe you can get a word in.

Always

Always

Bribery!

Reduce your Crime Level somewhat using the magic of Delicious Brews. This is more effective than trying to bribe your way out of Jail Zone

            1
            You need 1 x Delicious Brew  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Delicious Brew

Request transfer to Jail Zone

Perhaps you really just want a glimpse of life inside bars. Not the alcohol kind, the steel kind.

Robbery!

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

Maybe you can steal some of their Brew supply. Just don't get caught.

Challenge the entire Crime Squad

Fanciness

Your Fancy Points. Fanciness is important in the Rat Zone, almost as important as Rats. But not quite that important.
Clothing or the occasional rare event may provide Fanciness.

An almost impossible challenge

The Crime Squads are known for having very fancy uniforms indeed. Perhaps you should try trouncing them in a Fancy-Off, just to prove your superiority. Win or lose, you'll probably accrue some Crime Level.

Request another's absolution

Using the authority granted to you by the Rat Crown, you can take away all of someone else's Crime Level. This will even work if they're in Jail Zone, allowing you to spring them out immediately.

            1
            You need 1 x Rat Crown  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat Crown

Suspicion no more!

[Actor] has freed you from the chains of having a Crime Level using their kingly powers!

You have eliminated [Participants]'s Crime Level entirely. Pity you can't do the same for yourself.


Always

Always


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Jail Zone is dull and boring. There are a variety of methods to diminish your Crime Level until you can leave here though.

This storylet will loop until you exit via Perhaps Not.

Always

Always

Wait.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Sit back, get comfortable and relax. Your crime level will diminish shortly.

Search for rats

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Elsewhere, rats in a jail cell would be a sign of uncleanliness. Here, it's a sign of generous jail-keepers.

Send a message back home.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Maybe you can beg a Rat King to spring you out of this place.

Slip some rats to another jail dweller

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

A matter of luck: the odds are against you here.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Why not? It helps pass the time. Just try to avoid getting caught doing it.

Continue your study

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Not much left, now. But still too much.

Re-read the Rat Codes

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Perhaps you lost track of the thread of lunacy somewhere. Or maybe you just want to start over.


Rat Prizes Lounge!

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.

This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not

Always

Always

One Hundred Rats

Seventy five Rat Points will buy you 100 rats. Alright exchange rat(e).

            75
            You need Rat Points 75 (you have 119)

            75
            Unlocked with Rat Points 75 - you have 119

One Thousand Rats

500 Rat Points will buy you 1000 Rats. Better exchange rate!

Five thousand rats

2000 Rat Points will buy you 5000 Rats. Even better exchange rate!

            2000
            You need Rat Points 2,000 (you have 119)

            2000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 2,000 - you have 119

Twenty thousand rats!

6000 Rat Points will get you 20000 Rats. Best exchange rate? Not quite.

            6000
            You need Rat Points 6,000 (you have 119)

            6000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 6,000 - you have 119

One Hundred Thousand Rats

A whopping 32000 rat points will net you this princely (But not Rat-Kingly) sum of 100000 rats. Best exchange rate? Yes, definitely.

            32000
            You need Rat Points 32,000 (you have 119)

            32000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 32,000 - you have 119

Ticket to Well

No luck finding wells in the Rat Acquisition Deck? Ratco does not encourage well liason, but if you're willing to spend the Rat Points you can get yourself a guaranteed meeting with a well.

            7777
            You need Rat Points 7,777 (you have 119)

            7777
            Unlocked with Rat Points 7,777 - you have 119

Buy a Brew

Need a Horrendous Brew? For some horrendous disgusting reason? The vending machine offers a "delicious nutrient solution", but it's not very nutritious or delicious and is actually rather horrendous.

However, because head management at Ratco believe the solution to be the most delicious thing ever made, the price is quite high. Still, if you can't find any other means of obtaining a brew, this one works.

            15000
            You need 15,000 x Rat  (you have 264998)

            5000
            You need Rat Points 5,000 (you have 119)

            15000
            Unlocked with 15,000 x Rat  - you have 264998

            5000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 5,000 - you have 119


Always

Always


Prizes!

Rat Prizes Lounge!

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.
<p>[This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not]</p>

One Hundred Rats

            75
            You need Rat Points 75 (you have 44)

            75
            Unlocked with Rat Points 75 - you have 44

The machine spits out a neat stack of one hundred rats onto the counter. Gross.

You've gained 100 x Rat (new total 265,098).

You've lost 75 x Rat Points (new total 44).


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Jail Zone is dull and boring. There are a variety of methods to diminish your Crime Level until you can leave here though.

This storylet will loop until you exit via Perhaps Not.

Always

Always

Wait.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Sit back, get comfortable and relax. Your crime level will diminish shortly.

            1
            You need Crime Level 1 (you have 1)

Search for rats

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Elsewhere, rats in a jail cell would be a sign of uncleanliness. Here, it's a sign of generous jail-keepers.

Send a message back home.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Maybe you can beg a Rat King to spring you out of this place.

Slip some rats to another jail dweller

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

A matter of luck: the odds are against you here.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Why not? It helps pass the time. Just try to avoid getting caught doing it.

            1000
            You need 1,000 x Rat  (you have 772671)

            1
            You need Crime Level 1 (you have 1)

            1000
            Unlocked with 1,000 x Rat  - you have 772671

            1
            Unlocked with Crime Level 1 - you have 1

Continue your study

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Not much left, now. But still too much.

            5
            You need Reading the Rat Codes 5 and Reading the Rat Codes no more than 5 (you have 5)

            5
            Unlocked with Reading the Rat Codes 5 - you have 5

Re-read the Rat Codes

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Perhaps you lost track of the thread of lunacy somewhere. Or maybe you just want to start over.

            1
            You need Reading the Rat Codes 1 (you have 5)

            1
            You need Crime Level 1 (you have 1)

            1
            Unlocked with Reading the Rat Codes 1 - you have 5

            1
            Unlocked with Crime Level 1 - you have 1


Always

Always


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Sending Rats!

Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 265098

Rat Prizes Lounge!

Unlocked with Rat Points 1 - you have 44

Always

Always


Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Always

Always

Wait.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Search for rats

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Send a message back home.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Slip some rats to another jail dweller

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Continue your study

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Not much left, now. But still too much.

Re-read the Rat Codes

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die


The Objective Outhouse

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

In a mysterious shack, in a mysterious place, a mysterious individual answers mysterious... er, mysteries.

You can get hints and tips about what to do next here! But it will cost you rats. Goods and services usually do, here. Nothing else except rats, though; your other items will not be taken.

Always

Always

Buy a Rat Facts Orb

For the low low price of one million rats, you can buy a Magic Rat Ball, a shiny orb which will teach you facts about rats on the go! Rat Facts are also offered for free with any hint consultations.

            1000000
            Unlocked with 1,000,000 x Rat  - you have 265098

What am I... supposed to do?

The Rat Zone is a big scary place.

            10
            You need 10 x Rat  (you have 265098)

            10
            Unlocked with 10 x Rat  - you have 265098

What's this tournament all about?

Rat combat is just a big ol' mystery.

            100
            You need 100 x Rat  (you have 265098)

            1
            You need Tournament Standing 1 (you have 1)

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Rat  - you have 265098

            1
            Unlocked with Tournament Standing 1 - you have 1

What does this golden rat do?

It's the rat of champions! But surely it actually does something, right?

            1
            You need 1 x Golden Rat  (you have 0)

            1000
            You need 1,000 x Rat  (you have 265098)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Golden Rat

            1000
            Unlocked with 1,000 x Rat  - you have 265098

I'm the king! Uh, now what?

It's good to be king! But what's good for a king to do?

            1
            You need 1 x Rat Crown  (you have 0)

            2500
            You need 2,500 x Rat  (you have 265098)

            100
            You need 100 x Royal Rat  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat Crown

            2500
            Unlocked with 2,500 x Rat  - you have 265098

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Royal Rat

What's this yellow stuff for?

It's very shiny. But what does it <i>do?</i>

            1
            You need 1 x Lump of Gold  (you have 0)

            5000
            You need 5,000 x Rat  (you have 265098)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Lump of Gold

            5000
            Unlocked with 5,000 x Rat  - you have 265098

BOW BEFORE ME, MORTAL...

...but, er, mind explaining what's up with this whole deity thing while you're at it?

            1
            You need Impossible! 1

            1
            You need Avarat of God 1

            100000
            You need 100,000 x Rat  (you have 265098)

            1
            You need 1 x Holy Rat  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with Impossible! 1

            1
            Unlocked with Avarat of God 1

            100000
            Unlocked with 100,000 x Rat  - you have 265098

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Holy Rat

Home is where the Heart is...

...but what is the Heart for?

            1
            You need 1 x Heart of the Rat Zone  (you have 0)

            10000
            You need 10,000 x Rat  (you have 265098)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Heart of the Rat Zone

            10000
            Unlocked with 10,000 x Rat  - you have 265098

Help! I did crime!

If the Mystic knows everything, then surely they know how to get the fuzz off your tail?

            1
            You need Impossible! 1

            1
            You need Crime Level 1 (you have 3)

            1500
            You need 1,500 x Rat  (you have 265098)

            1
            Unlocked with Impossible! 1

            1
            Unlocked with Crime Level 1 - you have 3

            1500
            Unlocked with 1,500 x Rat  - you have 265098

Help! I got debt!

Nobody really knows why losing things to gambling is considered as debt in the Rat Zone. It's just one of those things.

            1
            You need Impossible! 1

            1
            You need 1 x Rat  (you have 265098)

            1000
            You need Crippling Debt 1,000 (you have 528374)

            1
            Unlocked with Impossible! 1

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 265098

            1000
            Unlocked with Crippling Debt 1,000 - you have 528374

The Tally...

If the Mystic knows everything, then surely they know about the Tally? This will cost you all your rats, and you will gain nothing

            7777
            You need 7,777 x Rat  (you have 265098)

            1
            You need Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 and Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats no more than 70 (you have 1)

            7777
            Unlocked with 7,777 x Rat  - you have 265098

            1
            Unlocked with Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 - you have 1

Inquire as to the location of Bee Zone

This Mystic is aware of many secrets, but Bee Zone is one of the biggest secrets of all.

            1
            You need Uncovering Hints of Bee Zone 1

            1
            You need 1 x Rat Bee  (you have 4)

            8222
            You need 8,222 x Rat  (you have 265098)

            1
            Unlocked with Uncovering Hints of Bee Zone 1

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat Bee  - you have 4

            8222
            Unlocked with 8,222 x Rat  - you have 265098


Always

Always


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Send some rats outside to the Rat Zone to reduce your sentence slightly. There won't be any indication that they actually came from Jail Zone though.

Always

Always

Just one hundred

Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

That's all that's legal.

            100
            You need 100 x Rat  (you have 772671)

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Rat  - you have 772671


Rat Fight

A scavenger bets you that his rat collection is better than yours.

Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

You'll show him!

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

A straightforward challenge

Your collection is the best collection of all! This chump's got nothing on you! A spontaneous fight out in the open like this might raise a few eyebrows, though

            100
            You need 100 x Rat  (you have 265098)

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Rat  - you have 265098

Don't rise to it.

Your rat collection is better than his. You know it. You don't need validation from some second-class smuggler to know it. March on proudly, chin held high in the air.


Always

Always


Smugness. like an aura

You stride off boldly, drawing looks from passing Rat Zoners as you stick your chin high in the air and waddle like a duck. It's a bit ridiculous how absurdly smug you look. Then you trip on a rat and crack your chin on the ground.
You've really got to stop doing that.

You've gained 1 x Rat (new total 265,099).


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Send some rats outside to the Rat Zone to reduce your sentence slightly. There won't be any indication that they actually came from Jail Zone though.

Always

Always

Just one hundred

Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

That's all that's legal.


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Sending Rats!

Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 265099

Always

Always


Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.


Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Jail Zone is dull and boring. There are a variety of methods to diminish your Crime Level until you can leave here though.

This storylet will loop until you exit via Perhaps Not.

Always

Always

Wait.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Sit back, get comfortable and relax. Your crime level will diminish shortly.

            1
            You need Crime Level 1 (you have 1)

Search for rats

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Elsewhere, rats in a jail cell would be a sign of uncleanliness. Here, it's a sign of generous jail-keepers.

Send a message back home.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Maybe you can beg a Rat King to spring you out of this place.

Slip some rats to another jail dweller

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

A matter of luck: the odds are against you here.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Why not? It helps pass the time. Just try to avoid getting caught doing it.

            1000
            You need 1,000 x Rat  (you have 772671)

            1
            You need Crime Level 1 (you have 1)

            1000
            Unlocked with 1,000 x Rat  - you have 772671

            1
            Unlocked with Crime Level 1 - you have 1

Continue your study

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Not much left, now. But still too much.

            5
            You need Reading the Rat Codes 5 and Reading the Rat Codes no more than 5 (you have 5)

            5
            Unlocked with Reading the Rat Codes 5 - you have 5

Re-read the Rat Codes

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Perhaps you lost track of the thread of lunacy somewhere. Or maybe you just want to start over.

            1
            You need Reading the Rat Codes 1 (you have 5)

            1
            You need Crime Level 1 (you have 1)

            1
            Unlocked with Reading the Rat Codes 1 - you have 5

            1
            Unlocked with Crime Level 1 - you have 1


Rat storm!

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

Distressingly common recently. Bloops (forgive the technical jargon) in the fabric of reality can occasionally cause a melding of our world and the strange, vaguely purple-tinted Rat Storage Zone. Someone owned those rats, but now they're technically finder's keepers. Just try not to get concussed.

Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Scavenging

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

A matter of luck: pretty good odds.

No time like the present! Get out there in the middle of the ratrain and try and nab yourself some mailing fuel.

Take cover!

There'll be plenty of time after the space-time continuum settles itself to scavenge. No need to take unnecessary risks.


Always

Always


A good haul!

Scavenging

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

A matter of luck: pretty good odds.

You collect a reasonably large haul from the torrential downpour, and manage to avoid getting knocked out to boot! Great job!

You were fortunate!

You've gained 13,534 x Rat (new total 278,633).


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Send some rats outside to the Rat Zone to reduce your sentence slightly. There won't be any indication that they actually came from Jail Zone though.

Always

Always

Just one hundred

Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

That's all that's legal.


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Sending Rats!

Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 278633

Always

Always

A mysterious occurance

You happen upon a brown paper package while wandering around the Rat Zone...


Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.


Always

Always


Ratco Clerking

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

////Cler-- wait, no, Absolutely No Plagiarism here. Move along.
Anyway, for one reason or another you've been selected as a temporary Ratco Clerk for the day, because one of the other clerks was concussed by a ratfall. You haven't even remotely a clue how clerking works. Good luck.

Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Meddling!

For the good of others. Fiddle with some numbers and make some Rat Points appear in someone else's account.

Send 1000 Rat Points

[Actor] has bestowed a gift of 1000 rat points upon you, through the medium of Bureaucratic Wizardry! How kind. For real.

[Participants] will probably enjoy their rat points. They are free, after all.

For your own good, you selfish jerk. Dump some Rat Points into your own account.

Clerk it!

Oh whatever. You were brought up to trust the Law, and Ratco basically passes for the Law around the Ratzone. Put your head down and pretend to work. You can't escape the rat race that easily.


Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Always

Always

Just one hundred

Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

That's all that's legal.


Always

Always


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always

Rat Egg

A rather common formation in the Rat Zone...


Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Jail Zone is dull and boring. There are a variety of methods to diminish your Crime Level until you can leave here though.

This storylet will loop until you exit via Perhaps Not.

Always

Always

Wait.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Sit back, get comfortable and relax. Your crime level will diminish shortly.

Search for rats

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Elsewhere, rats in a jail cell would be a sign of uncleanliness. Here, it's a sign of generous jail-keepers.

Send a message back home.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Maybe you can beg a Rat King to spring you out of this place.

Slip some rats to another jail dweller

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

A matter of luck: the odds are against you here.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Why not? It helps pass the time. Just try to avoid getting caught doing it.

Continue your study

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Not much left, now. But still too much.

Re-read the Rat Codes

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Perhaps you lost track of the thread of lunacy somewhere. Or maybe you just want to start over.


Sending Rats!

Well, here we are. The nub and/or crux of this Video Game, is, of course, to send rats. And that is what this is for. To send rats. Sending rats will gain you Rat Points, which can be used to buy Prizes from the Rat Prizes Lounge, which will show up whenever you actually have a Rat Point.

This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not

Always

Always

Ten Rats

You are going to send rats to another person. Do not question the hows and whys, the Rat Zone will handle all the postage and delivery stuff. Give 10 rodent corpses to another Rat Zone dweller.

            10
            You need 10 x Rat  (you have 278633)

            10
            Unlocked with 10 x Rat  - you have 278633

Send Ten Rats

Ten rats. That's as many as ten ones. And that's... a barely sufficient gift for the peasants of the Rat Zone. You should be mildly grateful to [Actor].

One Hundred Rats

Your entire starting budget's worth of rats! Maybe it is your entire starting budget, if you're impatient and really want to give someone all of your rats. It's OK. I won't judge.

            100
            You need 100 x Rat  (you have 278633)

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Rat  - you have 278633

One Thousand Rats

Now this, this is a lot of rats. Perhaps enough to provide restitution for any of your past crimes. They do say that in the end, all sins are forgiven. Maybe not if you killed all of these rats yourself though, that'd probably get you a reputation as a war criminal among rats.

            1000
            You need 1,000 x Rat  (you have 278633)

            1000
            Unlocked with 1,000 x Rat  - you have 278633

Ten Thousand Rats

You could probably kill someone with this many rats. But you're not going to, because this is the Rat Zone, a peaceful land of co-operation and rats. Mostly the latter. This many rats will get you a small surplus benefit of Rat Points. Not many, but they're there.

            10000
            Unlocked with 10,000 x Rat  - you have 278633

Send Ten Thousand Rats

Dear god, where did [Actor] get this many rats? Well, whereever they came from, they're yours now. Enjoy?

[Participants] has received a substantial Rat Gift from you. Your Rat Points score benefits greatly.

Fifty Thousand Rats

Sending Rats!

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

Now this is a king's bounty! But not a Rat King's bounty, because 50000 rats isn't enough to be a Rat King. How many is enough? More than you have. Again, a small surplus bonus. It could be bigger, but it'll save you sending a few rats.

            50000
            Unlocked with 50,000 x Rat  - you have 278633

Send Fifty Thousand Rats

Oh come on. I mean, seriously, come on. Fifty thousand rats? What could [Actor] be thinking? Either way, you now have an Everest of your very own. Made up of furry corpses.

SEVEN

A well told you about the secret Tally of Rats, hidden away and forgotten about. It informed you that you could learn of this Tally, but a great sacrifice must be made. Namely, the sacrifice of seven hundred and seventy seven thousand, seven hundred and seventy seven rats. These rats must be sent to a "friend" at a time when any rational sane human being would be asleep. You believed the well, because you generally believe in stonework. Good honest stonework. It's a hole in the ground, how could it be wrong?

            777777
            You need 777,777 x Rat  (you have 278633)

            1
            You need Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 (you have 1)

            777777
            Unlocked with 777,777 x Rat  - you have 278633

            1
            Unlocked with Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 - you have 1

Seven Seven Seven Seven Seven Seven Seven

Lately, you've seen [Actor] staggering around and muttering something about the number seven. Apparently, they need to convince themselves that seven is indeed a number or something. Anyway, this morning at about 5AM you heard a mighty crash outside. When you checked outside, you found a barely-conscious [Actor] and a colossal stack of rats. 777777 rats, according to [Actor]. You didn't check.

[Participants] knows the glory of the Number, and you, the glory of the Candle.

One Hundred Thousand Rats

A literal mountain of rats. If it weren't for the strange Rat Storage Zone, this towering pillar would probably block out the sun, acting as a monolithic reminder as to the hubris of man. And you're going to give all these rats to another person, because you either really like or absolutely detest them.

            100000
            Unlocked with 100,000 x Rat  - you have 278633

Send One Hundred Thousand Rats

Wow! This is a lot of rats. [Actor] has sent you a lot of rats. Really, a lot.

[Participants] has taken delivery of your one hundred thousand rats. They could probably fill a swimming pool. With rats.

All your rats!

Send someone all of your rats! All of them! Every last one!

            1
            You need 1 x Rat  (you have 278633)

            1
            You need 1 x Key of Dreams  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 278633

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Key of Dreams

Send All Rats

[Actor] has sent you every rat they own! Amazing!

[Participants] has accepted all of your rats. Now they have everything you had before you sent all your rats away.

Send someone three bees. Maybe they really like bees, or maybe this is some dastardly plot to sting them to death. Bees!

            3
            You need 3 x Rat Bee  (you have 4)

            3
            Unlocked with 3 x Rat Bee  - you have 4

Bees!

[Actor] has sent you bees!? Is this a gift or an assassination attempt?

[Participants] has received your bees. Bees!


Always

Always


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Send some rats outside to the Rat Zone to reduce your sentence slightly. There won't be any indication that they actually came from Jail Zone though.

Always

Always

Just one hundred

Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

That's all that's legal.


Rataholics Anonymous

Need to discuss your rat issues, or maybe just find some hapless victim to dump rats onto? This is the place for that, as laid out in the Rat Codes of Practise. Please note that the name has nothing to do with Ratahol. We're not even sure Ratahol exists, and if it does it's probably illegal.

Always

Always

Locate rathavers in your area

Rathavers willing to both send and receive rats are waiting at your call.

Send a Message

Rats are the medium of communication du jour in the Rat Zone, but if you're a bit snobbish, you can send a letter the old fashioned way.
NOTE: if you don't put anything in the message box, no message will actually be sent.

Die

If you want to, I won't stop you.

Go to the Emblem Emporium

A fancy place!

You may change your avatar here

Go to the Rat Achievement Station

Where the brave and the bold can have their deeds accredited.

The Objective Outhouse

Ask the Mystery Mystic a question, and you shall learn. The Mystic specialises mostly in Rat Zone activities. They're basically a ratty travel agent.

Rat Challenge!

Want to prove your rats are more magnificent and incredible than another person's rats? Prove it, with a rat challenge! The odds are extremely fair. If you have the better rats. If you don't, it's probably highly unfair. Such is life etc etc.

            100
            You need 100 x Rat  (you have 278633)

            10
            You need Rat Points 10 (you have 44)

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Rat  - you have 278633

            10
            Unlocked with Rat Points 10 - you have 44

Rat Challenge

[Actor] has challenged you to a contest of Rats! Whoever has the more lustrous and refined rat collection will win some rats and Rat Points! The loser will lose some!

Congratulations! Your rat collection was more magnificent and attractive than [Participants]'s collection. You win a Prize!

Minor Fancy-Off

Challenge someone else to a Fancy Off! Win or lose 100 Rat Points!

            1
            You need Fanciness 1

            100
            You need Rat Points 100 (you have 44)

            1
            Unlocked with Fanciness 1

            100
            Unlocked with Rat Points 100 - you have 44

Minor Fancy

[Actor] has challenged you to a Minor Fanciness Duel!

Congratulations! You are much fancier than [Participants].

Major Fancy-Off

Challenge someone else to a Fanciness Contest! Stake 1000 Rat Points on your relative fanciness!

            1
            You need Fanciness 1

            1000
            You need Rat Points 1,000 (you have 44)

            1
            Unlocked with Fanciness 1

            1000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 1,000 - you have 44

Major Fancy

[Actor] has challenged you to a Major Fanciness Duel!

Congratulations! You are more magnificent and fancy than [Participants]

Go to Boutiqué de Rat

The nexus of high Rat Fashion!

            5000
            You need Rat Points 5,000 (you have 44)

            5000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 5,000 - you have 44

Cook some things!

Don a Chef Hat and deal in the dark matter of Horrendous Brews.

            1
            You need Chef Powers 1

            1
            Unlocked with Chef Powers 1


Always

Always


((OOC: help me im new))

Locate rathavers in your area

Rataholics Anonymous

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

You become aware of a link to a place. A place where rat people can trade rat with each other. perhaps it's not very full at the minute. Perhaps you can change that.
note: right click -> open in new tab this link or the game will crash and you will feel sad


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Send some rats outside to the Rat Zone to reduce your sentence slightly. There won't be any indication that they actually came from Jail Zone though.

Always

Always

Just one hundred

Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

That's all that's legal.

            100
            You need 100 x Rat  (you have 772671)

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Rat  - you have 772671


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Rat Egg

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

A rather common formation in the Rat Zone. It is an egg filled with rats.

Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Smash it!

There's generally a good amount of rats in there, and you could always use more rats. Everyone likes a nice bit of rat.

wait

hang on that doesn't make any sense

Take off an egg shaving

Maybe you can use it in your cooking.

            1
            You need 1 x Chef Hat  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Chef Hat


Always

Always


Rat omelette!

Well, not an actual omelette, that'd be kinda gross. You instead get a bagful of rats from the egg. Such is life in the Rat Zone.

You've gained 13,819 x Rat (new total 292,452).


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Jail Zone is dull and boring. There are a variety of methods to diminish your Crime Level until you can leave here though.

This storylet will loop until you exit via Perhaps Not.

Always

Always

Wait.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Sit back, get comfortable and relax. Your crime level will diminish shortly.

            1
            You need Crime Level 1 (you have 1)

Search for rats

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Elsewhere, rats in a jail cell would be a sign of uncleanliness. Here, it's a sign of generous jail-keepers.

Send a message back home.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Maybe you can beg a Rat King to spring you out of this place.

Slip some rats to another jail dweller

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

A matter of luck: the odds are against you here.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Why not? It helps pass the time. Just try to avoid getting caught doing it.

            1000
            You need 1,000 x Rat  (you have 772671)

            1
            You need Crime Level 1 (you have 1)

            1000
            Unlocked with 1,000 x Rat  - you have 772671

            1
            Unlocked with Crime Level 1 - you have 1

Continue your study

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Not much left, now. But still too much.

            5
            You need Reading the Rat Codes 5 and Reading the Rat Codes no more than 5 (you have 5)

            5
            Unlocked with Reading the Rat Codes 5 - you have 5

Re-read the Rat Codes

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Perhaps you lost track of the thread of lunacy somewhere. Or maybe you just want to start over.

            1
            You need Reading the Rat Codes 1 (you have 5)

            1
            You need Crime Level 1 (you have 1)

            1
            Unlocked with Reading the Rat Codes 1 - you have 5

            1
            Unlocked with Crime Level 1 - you have 1


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Sending Rats!

Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 292452

Always

Always


confusion and damnation

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Jail Zone is dull and boring. There are a variety of methods to diminish your Crime Level until you can leave here though.
<p>[This storylet will loop until you exit via Perhaps Not.]</p>

Continue your study

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Not much left, now. But still too much.

            5
            You need Reading the Rat Codes 5 and Reading the Rat Codes no more than 5 (you have 6)

            5
            Unlocked with Reading the Rat Codes 5 - you have 6

rat is life. rat life. rat gangster. my friend once bought me a game on steam called bad rats and it was the most godawful thing i've ever had the misfortune to play. if you have a steam account i will literally buy you a copy of bad rats. this is my oath. except i will buy it only in the summer sales. i think this whole rat escapade is just a way to channel that frustration at the rats. god, bad rats is awful. truly awful. almost as bad as fallen london ha ha ha! just a joke, i am sotry. it's four in the morning on the 25th of june most of my friends are probably partying or something and here i am writing a goddamn dossier about rats. its ok i like writing about rats. i haven't stopped writing for 45 minutes oh god. this is real stream of consciousness rat narrative. you better like make this a global announcement for the entire playerbase and give them a rat each. i might have to do this more often with developers. i mean i used to beat up the ss13 admins but now i am an ss13 admin and i still haven't stopped.

 i am really thirsty but if i get a drink i mgiht forget how to rats. i don't even care about the ytypos any more i jsut keep on trucling. i really need to think up of a good ending for this ratly tale. if you get a card called "cats vs rats" you better pick the rats just so you can send the rats through the post on a later date. why can't i send the scuttering company through the post. why can't i send eyeless skulls through the post. this is literally my magnum opus. i wrote like 1500 words of an english essay about half a month ago and it was nowhere near as good as this. i am at my pinnacle, i can do no better. i am the rat king. i think my typing is starting to slow down. it is bright outside. i can hear birds. they are not aerial rats, i think that is pigeons but there are no pigeons here because it is not a city. god damn hell. seven is the number seven is the number seven is the number seven is the number seven is the number seven is the number seven is the number. mr eaten's name gotta find the name it's not mr candles that's a lie and an untruth, it's mr rats. it's mr rats! it's Mr Eats! dammit that was a tpyo but i 'm jeeping it. i think i'm beginning to lose coherence by the moment. the screen is starting to wurble a bit. do you know what a wurble is? because if not now you do. i have rats seared into my eyes. become one with the rat.

Even for someone from the Rat Zone this is an excessive amount of rats.

You have progressed further in the Rat Codes..

0 change points, 2 more needed to reach level 2.

Crime Level is dropping...


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Miniature Rat Egg

What? Why? How? When?

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Bee Achievement

Hivelord Beeton is your unofficial name among the Bee Clans.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

Crippling Debt 1,492,995 - Maybe you should just stop

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Crippling Debt: Maybe you should just stop

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Fanciness

Your Fancy Points. Fanciness is important in the Rat Zone, almost as important as Rats. But not quite that important.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.

Bee Lure

This sweet concoction can be used to attract some Rat Bees.


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


A mysterious occurance

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

You happen upon a brown paper package while wandering around the Rat Zone. It is marked "Rats #10000-17777 i found the rat jackpot". Huh.

Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Lootin'

Well, looks like there's a massive haul of rats here. Might as well take 'em.

Scootin'

You have more morals than that. Obviously this package belongs to someone, so you should probably leave it.


Always

Always


Rats?

Rats! Lots of them! Who woulda guessed? There's enough here to provide a fair bit of ratsending for a while.

You've gained 7,777 x Rat (new total 300,229).


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Jail Zone is dull and boring. There are a variety of methods to diminish your Crime Level until you can leave here though.

This storylet will loop until you exit via Perhaps Not.

Always

Always

Wait.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Sit back, get comfortable and relax. Your crime level will diminish shortly.

Search for rats

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Elsewhere, rats in a jail cell would be a sign of uncleanliness. Here, it's a sign of generous jail-keepers.

Send a message back home.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Maybe you can beg a Rat King to spring you out of this place.

Slip some rats to another jail dweller

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

A matter of luck: the odds are against you here.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Why not? It helps pass the time. Just try to avoid getting caught doing it.

Not much now

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Only a few pages left.

            6
            You need Reading the Rat Codes 6 and Reading the Rat Codes no more than 6 (you have 6)

            6
            Unlocked with Reading the Rat Codes 6 - you have 6

Re-read the Rat Codes

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Perhaps you lost track of the thread of lunacy somewhere. Or maybe you just want to start over.

            1
            You need Reading the Rat Codes 1 (you have 6)

            1
            You need Crime Level 1 (you have 1)

            1
            Unlocked with Reading the Rat Codes 1 - you have 6

            1
            Unlocked with Crime Level 1 - you have 1


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Sending Rats!

Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 300229

Always

Always


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Send some rats outside to the Rat Zone to reduce your sentence slightly. There won't be any indication that they actually came from Jail Zone though.

Always

Always

Just one hundred

Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

That's all that's legal.


Rat Tournament!

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

Aaaaare you ready to ratble? I sure hope so! I don't know how a ratble is achieved but there's one happening right now.

Winning will move you up a branch in the tournament. You will get a tenth of the loser's rats. Losing moves you back a branch, and will cost you some rats. Most actions may loop back, requiring a Perhaps Not to leave so you can do other things.

Always

Always

First Challenger!

A straightforward challenge

The first bracket of the tournament has you facing off against Karen the Ratter. Not much to say except good luck!

Refreshments!

There are several refreshments stalls just at the fringe of the action. Maybe you can get something for free, being a competitor and all.

Gloat

You have this Golden Rat, other people don't have Golden Rats. Better make the most of it and gloat about it!

            1
            You need 1 x Golden Rat  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Golden Rat

The Gambling Tent

A shady tent some way out from the refreshment stalls is the #1 location for betting and gambling at this event.


Always

Always


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Jail Zone is dull and boring. There are a variety of methods to diminish your Crime Level until you can leave here though.

This storylet will loop until you exit via Perhaps Not.

Always

Always

Wait.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Sit back, get comfortable and relax. Your crime level will diminish shortly.

Search for rats

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Elsewhere, rats in a jail cell would be a sign of uncleanliness. Here, it's a sign of generous jail-keepers.

Send a message back home.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Maybe you can beg a Rat King to spring you out of this place.

Slip some rats to another jail dweller

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

A matter of luck: the odds are against you here.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Why not? It helps pass the time. Just try to avoid getting caught doing it.

Not much now

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Only a few pages left.

Re-read the Rat Codes

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Perhaps you lost track of the thread of lunacy somewhere. Or maybe you just want to start over.


The Crime Shack

Only visible if you are at least slightly tainted with Crime, the Crime Shack is the place where the Crime Squads hang out, sit back, drink a Brew and regret it intensely. Maybe you can get a word in.

Always

Always

Bribery!

Reduce your Crime Level somewhat using the magic of Delicious Brews. This is more effective than trying to bribe your way out of Jail Zone

            1
            You need 1 x Delicious Brew  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Delicious Brew

Request transfer to Jail Zone

Perhaps you really just want a glimpse of life inside bars. Not the alcohol kind, the steel kind.

Robbery!

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

Maybe you can steal some of their Brew supply. Just don't get caught.

Challenge the entire Crime Squad

Fanciness

Your Fancy Points. Fanciness is important in the Rat Zone, almost as important as Rats. But not quite that important.
Clothing or the occasional rare event may provide Fanciness.

An almost impossible challenge

The Crime Shack

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

The Crime Squads are known for having very fancy uniforms indeed. Perhaps you should try trouncing them in a Fancy-Off, just to prove your superiority. Win or lose, you'll probably accrue some Crime Level.

Request another's absolution

Using the authority granted to you by the Rat Crown, you can take away all of someone else's Crime Level. This will even work if they're in Jail Zone, allowing you to spring them out immediately.

            1
            You need 1 x Rat Crown  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat Crown


Always

Always


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Always

Always

Wait.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Search for rats

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Send a message back home.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Slip some rats to another jail dweller

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Not much now

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Only a few pages left.

Re-read the Rat Codes

Life in Jail Zone

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die


Rat Prizes Lounge!

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.

This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not

Always

Always

One Hundred Rats

Seventy five Rat Points will buy you 100 rats. Alright exchange rat(e).

            75
            You need Rat Points 75 (you have 44)

            75
            Unlocked with Rat Points 75 - you have 44

One Thousand Rats

500 Rat Points will buy you 1000 Rats. Better exchange rate!

            500
            You need Rat Points 500 (you have 44)

            500
            Unlocked with Rat Points 500 - you have 44

Five thousand rats

2000 Rat Points will buy you 5000 Rats. Even better exchange rate!

            2000
            You need Rat Points 2,000 (you have 44)

            2000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 2,000 - you have 44

Twenty thousand rats!

6000 Rat Points will get you 20000 Rats. Best exchange rate? Not quite.

            6000
            You need Rat Points 6,000 (you have 44)

            6000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 6,000 - you have 44

One Hundred Thousand Rats

A whopping 32000 rat points will net you this princely (But not Rat-Kingly) sum of 100000 rats. Best exchange rate? Yes, definitely.

            32000
            You need Rat Points 32,000 (you have 44)

            32000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 32,000 - you have 44

Ticket to Well

No luck finding wells in the Rat Acquisition Deck? Ratco does not encourage well liason, but if you're willing to spend the Rat Points you can get yourself a guaranteed meeting with a well.

            7777
            You need Rat Points 7,777 (you have 44)

            7777
            Unlocked with Rat Points 7,777 - you have 44

Buy a Brew

Need a Horrendous Brew? For some horrendous disgusting reason? The vending machine offers a "delicious nutrient solution", but it's not very nutritious or delicious and is actually rather horrendous.

However, because head management at Ratco believe the solution to be the most delicious thing ever made, the price is quite high. Still, if you can't find any other means of obtaining a brew, this one works.

            15000
            You need 15,000 x Rat  (you have 300229)

            5000
            You need Rat Points 5,000 (you have 44)

            15000
            Unlocked with 15,000 x Rat  - you have 300229

            5000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 5,000 - you have 44


Always

Always


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

Send some rats outside to the Rat Zone to reduce your sentence slightly. There won't be any indication that they actually came from Jail Zone though.

Always

Always

Just one hundred

Rat Penance

The Jail Zone

where crime goes to die

That's all that's legal.

            100
            You need 100 x Rat  (you have 772671)

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Rat  - you have 772671


The Objective Outhouse

In a mysterious shack, in a mysterious place, a mysterious individual answers mysterious... er, mysteries.

You can get hints and tips about what to do next here! But it will cost you rats. Goods and services usually do, here. Nothing else except rats, though; your other items will not be taken.

Always

Always

Buy a Rat Facts Orb

For the low low price of one million rats, you can buy a Magic Rat Ball, a shiny orb which will teach you facts about rats on the go! Rat Facts are also offered for free with any hint consultations.

            1000000
            Unlocked with 1,000,000 x Rat  - you have 300229

What am I... supposed to do?

The Rat Zone is a big scary place.

            10
            You need 10 x Rat  (you have 300229)

            10
            Unlocked with 10 x Rat  - you have 300229

What's this tournament all about?

Rat combat is just a big ol' mystery.

            100
            You need 100 x Rat  (you have 300229)

            1
            You need Tournament Standing 1 (you have 1)

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Rat  - you have 300229

            1
            Unlocked with Tournament Standing 1 - you have 1

What does this golden rat do?

It's the rat of champions! But surely it actually does something, right?

            1
            You need 1 x Golden Rat  (you have 0)

            1000
            You need 1,000 x Rat  (you have 300229)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Golden Rat

            1000
            Unlocked with 1,000 x Rat  - you have 300229

I'm the king! Uh, now what?

It's good to be king! But what's good for a king to do?

            1
            You need 1 x Rat Crown  (you have 0)

            2500
            You need 2,500 x Rat  (you have 300229)

            100
            You need 100 x Royal Rat  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat Crown

            2500
            Unlocked with 2,500 x Rat  - you have 300229

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Royal Rat

What's this yellow stuff for?

It's very shiny. But what does it <i>do?</i>

            1
            You need 1 x Lump of Gold  (you have 0)

            5000
            You need 5,000 x Rat  (you have 300229)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Lump of Gold

            5000
            Unlocked with 5,000 x Rat  - you have 300229

BOW BEFORE ME, MORTAL...

The Objective Outhouse

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

...but, er, mind explaining what's up with this whole deity thing while you're at it?

            1
            You need Impossible! 1

            1
            You need Avarat of God 1

            100000
            You need 100,000 x Rat  (you have 300229)

            1
            You need 1 x Holy Rat  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with Impossible! 1

            1
            Unlocked with Avarat of God 1

            100000
            Unlocked with 100,000 x Rat  - you have 300229

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Holy Rat

Home is where the Heart is...

...but what is the Heart for?

            1
            You need 1 x Heart of the Rat Zone  (you have 0)

            10000
            You need 10,000 x Rat  (you have 300229)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Heart of the Rat Zone

            10000
            Unlocked with 10,000 x Rat  - you have 300229

Help! I did crime!

If the Mystic knows everything, then surely they know how to get the fuzz off your tail?

            1
            You need Impossible! 1

            1
            You need Crime Level 1 (you have 3)

            1500
            You need 1,500 x Rat  (you have 300229)

            1
            Unlocked with Impossible! 1

            1
            Unlocked with Crime Level 1 - you have 3

            1500
            Unlocked with 1,500 x Rat  - you have 300229

Help! I got debt!

Nobody really knows why losing things to gambling is considered as debt in the Rat Zone. It's just one of those things.

            1
            You need Impossible! 1

            1
            You need 1 x Rat  (you have 300229)

            1000
            You need Crippling Debt 1,000 (you have 528374)

            1
            Unlocked with Impossible! 1

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 300229

            1000
            Unlocked with Crippling Debt 1,000 - you have 528374

The Tally...

If the Mystic knows everything, then surely they know about the Tally? This will cost you all your rats, and you will gain nothing

            7777
            You need 7,777 x Rat  (you have 300229)

            1
            You need Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 and Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats no more than 70 (you have 1)

            7777
            Unlocked with 7,777 x Rat  - you have 300229

            1
            Unlocked with Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 - you have 1

Inquire as to the location of Bee Zone

This Mystic is aware of many secrets, but Bee Zone is one of the biggest secrets of all.

            1
            You need Uncovering Hints of Bee Zone 1

            1
            You need 1 x Rat Bee  (you have 4)

            8222
            You need 8,222 x Rat  (you have 300229)

            1
            Unlocked with Uncovering Hints of Bee Zone 1

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat Bee  - you have 4

            8222
            Unlocked with 8,222 x Rat  - you have 300229


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always