Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Miniature Rat Egg

What? Why? How? When?

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Bee Achievement

Hivelord Beeton is your unofficial name among the Bee Clans.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Fanciness

Your Fancy Points. Fanciness is important in the Rat Zone, almost as important as Rats. But not quite that important.
Clothing or the occasional rare event may provide Fanciness.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.

Bee Lure

This sweet concoction can be used to attract some Rat Bees.


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Rataholics Anonymous

Need to discuss your rat issues, or maybe just find some hapless victim to dump rats onto?

Sending Rats!

Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 887936

Rat Prizes Lounge!

Unlocked with Rat Points 1 - you have 4850

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest...

Rat Tournament!

Unlocked with Tournament Standing 1 - you have 2

The Objective Outhouse

In a mysterious shack, in a mysterious place, a mysterious individual answers mysterious...

Always

Always


Prizes!!

Rat Prizes Lounge!

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.
<p>[This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not]</p>

One Thousand Rats

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.

This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not

500 Rat Points will buy you 1000 Rats. Better exchange rate!

            500
            You need Rat Points 500 (you have 75)

            500
            Unlocked with Rat Points 500 - you have 75

The vending machine whirrs, and shoots out a clod of rats directly at you. Fortunately, the physics of Rat Zone teleport the rats directly into the metaphysical plane where rats are stored. Thanks, physics!

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

You've gained 1,000 x Rat (new total 354,027).

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

You've lost 500 x Rat Points (new total 75).


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 - Intrigued

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats: Intrigued

Crippling Debt

Crippling Debt 538,374 - Should probably learn when to quit

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Should probably learn when to quit:538374

Crippling Debt: Should probably learn when to quit

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


The Objective Outhouse

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

In a mysterious shack, in a mysterious place, a mysterious individual answers mysterious... er, mysteries.

You can get hints and tips about what to do next here! But it will cost you rats. Goods and services usually do, here. Nothing else except rats, though; your other items will not be taken.

Always

Always

Buy a Rat Facts Orb

For the low low price of one million rats, you can buy a Magic Rat Ball, a shiny orb which will teach you facts about rats on the go! Rat Facts are also offered for free with any hint consultations.

            1000000
            Unlocked with 1,000,000 x Rat  - you have 887936

What am I... supposed to do?

The Rat Zone is a big scary place.

            10
            You need 10 x Rat  (you have 887936)

            10
            Unlocked with 10 x Rat  - you have 887936

What's this tournament all about?

Rat combat is just a big ol' mystery.

            100
            You need 100 x Rat  (you have 887936)

            1
            You need Tournament Standing 1 (you have 2)

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Rat  - you have 887936

            1
            Unlocked with Tournament Standing 1 - you have 2

What does this golden rat do?

It's the rat of champions! But surely it actually does something, right?

            1
            You need 1 x Golden Rat  (you have 0)

            1000
            You need 1,000 x Rat  (you have 887936)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Golden Rat

            1000
            Unlocked with 1,000 x Rat  - you have 887936

I'm the king! Uh, now what?

It's good to be king! But what's good for a king to do?

            1
            You need 1 x Rat Crown  (you have 0)

            2500
            You need 2,500 x Rat  (you have 887936)

            100
            You need 100 x Royal Rat  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat Crown

            2500
            Unlocked with 2,500 x Rat  - you have 887936

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Royal Rat

What's this yellow stuff for?

It's very shiny. But what does it <i>do?</i>

            1
            You need 1 x Lump of Gold  (you have 0)

            5000
            You need 5,000 x Rat  (you have 887936)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Lump of Gold

            5000
            Unlocked with 5,000 x Rat  - you have 887936

BOW BEFORE ME, MORTAL...

...but, er, mind explaining what's up with this whole deity thing while you're at it?

            1
            You need Impossible! 1

            1
            You need Avarat of God 1

            100000
            You need 100,000 x Rat  (you have 887936)

            1
            You need 1 x Holy Rat  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with Impossible! 1

            1
            Unlocked with Avarat of God 1

            100000
            Unlocked with 100,000 x Rat  - you have 887936

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Holy Rat

Home is where the Heart is...

...but what is the Heart for?

            1
            You need 1 x Heart of the Rat Zone  (you have 0)

            10000
            You need 10,000 x Rat  (you have 887936)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Heart of the Rat Zone

            10000
            Unlocked with 10,000 x Rat  - you have 887936

Help! I did crime!

If the Mystic knows everything, then surely they know how to get the fuzz off your tail?

            1
            You need Impossible! 1

            1
            You need Crime Level 1

            1500
            You need 1,500 x Rat  (you have 887936)

            1
            Unlocked with Impossible! 1

            1
            Unlocked with Crime Level 1

            1500
            Unlocked with 1,500 x Rat  - you have 887936

Help! I got debt!

Nobody really knows why losing things to gambling is considered as debt in the Rat Zone. It's just one of those things.

            1
            You need Impossible! 1

            1
            You need 1 x Rat  (you have 887936)

            1000
            You need Crippling Debt 1,000 (you have 1492995)

            1
            Unlocked with Impossible! 1

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 887936

            1000
            Unlocked with Crippling Debt 1,000 - you have 1492995

The Tally...

If the Mystic knows everything, then surely they know about the Tally? This will cost you all your rats, and you will gain nothing

            7777
            You need 7,777 x Rat  (you have 887936)

            1
            You need Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 and Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats no more than 70 (you have 1)

            7777
            Unlocked with 7,777 x Rat  - you have 887936

            1
            Unlocked with Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 - you have 1

Inquire as to the location of Bee Zone

This Mystic is aware of many secrets, but Bee Zone is one of the biggest secrets of all.

            1
            You need Uncovering Hints of Bee Zone 1

            1
            You need 1 x Rat Bee  (you have 10)

            8222
            You need 8,222 x Rat  (you have 887936)

            1
            Unlocked with Uncovering Hints of Bee Zone 1

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat Bee  - you have 10

            8222
            Unlocked with 8,222 x Rat  - you have 887936


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Prizes!

Rat Prizes Lounge!

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.
<p>[This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not]</p>

One Hundred Rats

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.

This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not

Seventy five Rat Points will buy you 100 rats. Alright exchange rat(e).

            75
            You need Rat Points 75

            75
            Unlocked with Rat Points 75

The machine spits out a neat stack of one hundred rats onto the counter. Gross.

You've gained 100 x Rat (new total 354,127).

You've lost 75 x Rat Points (new total 0).


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Rat Tournament!

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

Aaaaare you ready to ratble? I sure hope so! I don't know how a ratble is achieved but there's one happening right now.

Winning will move you up a branch in the tournament. You will get a tenth of the loser's rats. Losing moves you back a branch, and will cost you some rats. Most actions may loop back, requiring a Perhaps Not to leave so you can do other things.

Always

Always

Next Challenger!

A straightforward challenge

Challenge Old Man Wilbur, the rat veteran.

            2
            You need Tournament Standing 2 and Tournament Standing no more than 2 (you have 2)

            2
            Unlocked with Tournament Standing 2 - you have 2

Refreshments!

There are several refreshments stalls just at the fringe of the action. Maybe you can get something for free, being a competitor and all.

You have this Golden Rat, other people don't have Golden Rats. Better make the most of it and gloat about it!

            1
            You need 1 x Golden Rat  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Golden Rat

Gloat

[Actor] has a Golden Rat and you don't! And they're gloating about it! What a jerk.

You gloated about your possession of the Golden Rat to [Participants]. Hope it makes you feel better.

The Gambling Tent

A shady tent some way out from the refreshment stalls is the #1 location for betting and gambling at this event.


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Sending Rats!

Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 354127

The Crime Shack

Unlocked with Crime Level 1 - you have 4

Only visible if you are at least slightly tainted with Crime, the Crime Shack is the place where the Crime Squads hang out, sit back, drink a Brew and regret it intensely...

Rat Tournament!

Unlocked with Tournament Standing 1 - you have 1

Always

Always

The Well Card

Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 354127; Unlocked with

In the centre of Rat Zone, there is a well...

Rat Egg

A rather common formation in the Rat Zone...


Sending Rats!

Well, here we are. The nub and/or crux of this Video Game, is, of course, to send rats. And that is what this is for. To send rats. Sending rats will gain you Rat Points, which can be used to buy Prizes from the Rat Prizes Lounge, which will show up whenever you actually have a Rat Point.

This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not

Always

Always

Ten Rats

You are going to send rats to another person. Do not question the hows and whys, the Rat Zone will handle all the postage and delivery stuff. Give 10 rodent corpses to another Rat Zone dweller.

Send Ten Rats

Ten rats. That's as many as ten ones. And that's... a barely sufficient gift for the peasants of the Rat Zone. You should be mildly grateful to [Actor].

[Participants] has received a Rat Gift from you. Your Rat Points score benefits accordingly.

One Hundred Rats

Your entire starting budget's worth of rats! Maybe it is your entire starting budget, if you're impatient and really want to give someone all of your rats. It's OK. I won't judge.

            100
            You need 100 x Rat  (you have 887936)

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Rat  - you have 887936

Send One Hundred Rats

You've received quite a reasonable sum of rats from [Actor], but not a king's bounty. Far from a Rat King's bounty.

One Thousand Rats

Now this, this is a lot of rats. Perhaps enough to provide restitution for any of your past crimes. They do say that in the end, all sins are forgiven. Maybe not if you killed all of these rats yourself though, that'd probably get you a reputation as a war criminal among rats.

            1000
            You need 1,000 x Rat  (you have 887936)

            1000
            Unlocked with 1,000 x Rat  - you have 887936

Send One Thousand Rats

[Actor] has sent you one thousand rats. Don't question where you're going to keep them. The Rat Zone will handle the storage. All shall be rat, and all manner of thing shall be rat. So it is said.

Ten Thousand Rats

You could probably kill someone with this many rats. But you're not going to, because this is the Rat Zone, a peaceful land of co-operation and rats. Mostly the latter. This many rats will get you a small surplus benefit of Rat Points. Not many, but they're there.

            10000
            Unlocked with 10,000 x Rat  - you have 887936

Send Ten Thousand Rats

Dear god, where did [Actor] get this many rats? Well, whereever they came from, they're yours now. Enjoy?

[Participants] has received a substantial Rat Gift from you. Your Rat Points score benefits greatly.

Fifty Thousand Rats

Now this is a king's bounty! But not a Rat King's bounty, because 50000 rats isn't enough to be a Rat King. How many is enough? More than you have. Again, a small surplus bonus. It could be bigger, but it'll save you sending a few rats.

            50000
            Unlocked with 50,000 x Rat  - you have 887936

Send Fifty Thousand Rats

Oh come on. I mean, seriously, come on. Fifty thousand rats? What could [Actor] be thinking? Either way, you now have an Everest of your very own. Made up of furry corpses.

SEVEN

A well told you about the secret Tally of Rats, hidden away and forgotten about. It informed you that you could learn of this Tally, but a great sacrifice must be made. Namely, the sacrifice of seven hundred and seventy seven thousand, seven hundred and seventy seven rats. These rats must be sent to a "friend" at a time when any rational sane human being would be asleep. You believed the well, because you generally believe in stonework. Good honest stonework. It's a hole in the ground, how could it be wrong?

            777777
            You need 777,777 x Rat  (you have 887936)

            1
            You need Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 (you have 1)

            777777
            Unlocked with 777,777 x Rat  - you have 887936

            1
            Unlocked with Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 - you have 1

Seven Seven Seven Seven Seven Seven Seven

Lately, you've seen [Actor] staggering around and muttering something about the number seven. Apparently, they need to convince themselves that seven is indeed a number or something. Anyway, this morning at about 5AM you heard a mighty crash outside. When you checked outside, you found a barely-conscious [Actor] and a colossal stack of rats. 777777 rats, according to [Actor]. You didn't check.

[Participants] knows the glory of the Number, and you, the glory of the Candle.

One Hundred Thousand Rats

A literal mountain of rats. If it weren't for the strange Rat Storage Zone, this towering pillar would probably block out the sun, acting as a monolithic reminder as to the hubris of man. And you're going to give all these rats to another person, because you either really like or absolutely detest them.

            100000
            Unlocked with 100,000 x Rat  - you have 887936

Send One Hundred Thousand Rats

Wow! This is a lot of rats. [Actor] has sent you a lot of rats. Really, a lot.

[Participants] has taken delivery of your one hundred thousand rats. They could probably fill a swimming pool. With rats.

All your rats!

Send someone all of your rats! All of them! Every last one!

            1
            You need 1 x Rat  (you have 887936)

            1
            You need 1 x Key of Dreams  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 887936

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Key of Dreams

Send All Rats

[Actor] has sent you every rat they own! Amazing!

[Participants] has accepted all of your rats. Now they have everything you had before you sent all your rats away.

Send someone three bees. Maybe they really like bees, or maybe this is some dastardly plot to sting them to death. Bees!

            3
            You need 3 x Rat Bee  (you have 10)

            3
            Unlocked with 3 x Rat Bee  - you have 10

Bees!

[Actor] has sent you bees!? Is this a gift or an assassination attempt?

[Participants] has received your bees. Bees!


The Well Card

In the centre of Rat Zone, there is a well. As with most things, nobody remembers when it was built or who built it. Or even where the geometric centre of the Rat Zone is. Nevertheless, it is there.
<p>A voice from inside the well tells you to throw rats down the well. Might as well. </p>

Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Throw seven rats

The Well Card

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

You get the impression that the well likes sevens. No reason why.

            7
            You need 7 x Rat  (you have 354127)

            7
            Unlocked with 7 x Rat  - you have 354127

Throw seventy-seven rats

Maybe seven isn't <i>quite</i> enough to satisfy a well.

            77
            You need 77 x Rat  (you have 354127)

            77
            Unlocked with 77 x Rat  - you have 354127

Throw seven hundred and seventy seven rats

You have all these rats so, well, why not?

            777
            You need 777 x Rat  (you have 354127)

            777
            Unlocked with 777 x Rat  - you have 354127

Throw seven thousand, seven hundred and seventy seven rats

Thankfully, the strange metaphysics of the Rat Zone mean you don't have to count out every single rat individually. You're not sure that'd be well worth your time.

            7777
            You need 7,777 x Rat  (you have 354127)

            7777
            Unlocked with 7,777 x Rat  - you have 354127

No!

You don't trust this structure used for the acquisition of water. I mean, look, it doesn't even have a bucket!


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Tiring, terrifying work.

            7777
            You need 7,777 x Rat  (you have 346350)

            7777
            Unlocked with 7,777 x Rat  - you have 346350

You spend a couple of hours doing nothing but tossing rats down the well. Extracting Rats from the Rat Storage Zone is a rather strange process. You think about a rat, really hard, and then you have a rat. This also applies for larger numbers of rat.
<p>Strangely, the well barely reacts at all. Then, suddenly, it begins to fountain out a strange iridescent liquid. You decide to collect some of it, and then immediately regret it. </p>

You've gained 7 x Horrendous Brew (new total 27).

You've lost 7,777 x Rat (new total 346,350).


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Rataholics Anonymous

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

Need to discuss your rat issues, or maybe just find some hapless victim to dump rats onto? This is the place for that, as laid out in the Rat Codes of Practise. Please note that the name has nothing to do with Ratahol. We're not even sure Ratahol exists, and if it does it's probably illegal.

Always

Always

Locate rathavers in your area

Rathavers willing to both send and receive rats are waiting at your call.

Send a Message

Rats are the medium of communication du jour in the Rat Zone, but if you're a bit snobbish, you can send a letter the old fashioned way.
NOTE: if you don't put anything in the message box, no message will actually be sent.

Die

If you want to, I won't stop you.

Go to the Emblem Emporium

A fancy place!

You may change your avatar here

Go to the Rat Achievement Station

Where the brave and the bold can have their deeds accredited.

The Objective Outhouse

Ask the Mystery Mystic a question, and you shall learn. The Mystic specialises mostly in Rat Zone activities. They're basically a ratty travel agent.

Rat Challenge!

Want to prove your rats are more magnificent and incredible than another person's rats? Prove it, with a rat challenge! The odds are extremely fair. If you have the better rats. If you don't, it's probably highly unfair. Such is life etc etc.

            100
            You need 100 x Rat  (you have 887936)

            10
            You need Rat Points 10 (you have 4850)

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Rat  - you have 887936

            10
            Unlocked with Rat Points 10 - you have 4850

Rat Challenge

[Actor] has challenged you to a contest of Rats! Whoever has the more lustrous and refined rat collection will win some rats and Rat Points! The loser will lose some!

Congratulations! Your rat collection was more magnificent and attractive than [Participants]'s collection. You win a Prize!

Minor Fancy-Off

Challenge someone else to a Fancy Off! Win or lose 100 Rat Points!

            1
            You need Fanciness 1 (you have 10)

            100
            You need Rat Points 100 (you have 4850)

            1
            Unlocked with Fanciness 1 - you have 10

            100
            Unlocked with Rat Points 100 - you have 4850

Minor Fancy

[Actor] has challenged you to a Minor Fanciness Duel!

Congratulations! You are much fancier than [Participants].

Major Fancy-Off

Challenge someone else to a Fanciness Contest! Stake 1000 Rat Points on your relative fanciness!

            1
            You need Fanciness 1 (you have 10)

            1000
            You need Rat Points 1,000 (you have 4850)

            1
            Unlocked with Fanciness 1 - you have 10

            1000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 1,000 - you have 4850

Major Fancy

[Actor] has challenged you to a Major Fanciness Duel!

Congratulations! You are more magnificent and fancy than [Participants]

Go to Boutiqué de Rat

The nexus of high Rat Fashion!

            5000
            You need Rat Points 5,000 (you have 4850)

            5000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 5,000 - you have 4850

Cook some things!

Don a Chef Hat and deal in the dark matter of Horrendous Brews.

            1
            You need Chef Powers 1

            1
            Unlocked with Chef Powers 1


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Sending Rats!

Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 346350

Always

Always


Learning!

The Objective Outhouse

In a mysterious shack, in a mysterious place, a mysterious individual answers mysterious... er, mysteries.
<p>[You can get hints and tips about what to do next here! But it will cost you rats. Goods and services usually do, here. Nothing else except rats, though; your other items will not be taken.]</p>

There are many things to do in the Rat Zone. Quite often these things aren't obvious.


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Miniature Rat Egg

What? Why? How? When?

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Bee Achievement

Hivelord Beeton is your unofficial name among the Bee Clans.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

Crippling Debt 1,492,995 - Maybe you should just stop

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Crippling Debt: Maybe you should just stop

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Fanciness

Your Fancy Points. Fanciness is important in the Rat Zone, almost as important as Rats. But not quite that important.
Clothing or the occasional rare event may provide Fanciness.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.

Bee Lure

This sweet concoction can be used to attract some Rat Bees.


Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!


Rat Egg

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

A rather common formation in the Rat Zone. It is an egg filled with rats.

Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Smash it!

There's generally a good amount of rats in there, and you could always use more rats. Everyone likes a nice bit of rat.

wait

hang on that doesn't make any sense

Take off an egg shaving

Maybe you can use it in your cooking.

            1
            You need 1 x Chef Hat  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Chef Hat


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


what

wait

hang on that doesn't make any sense

what's an egg full of rats why is what is this rat zone place help help hhelp

Shush, it'll be OK. Such is life in the Rat Zone. Have a Rat Point.

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

You now have 1 x Rat Points.


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Miniature Rat Egg

What? Why? How? When?

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Bee Achievement

Hivelord Beeton is your unofficial name among the Bee Clans.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Fanciness

Your Fancy Points. Fanciness is important in the Rat Zone, almost as important as Rats. But not quite that important.
Clothing or the occasional rare event may provide Fanciness.

Bee Lure

This sweet concoction can be used to attract some Rat Bees.


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always

Ratco Clerking

////Cler-- wait, no, Absolutely No Plagiarism here...


Rat Bee!?

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

Even for the Rat Zone, this is a bizarre and distressing sight. You have located a rat bee. It's rather like a rat, but with a sting instead of a tail and also tiny fairy wings. Rumour has it that these terrifying beasts were brought about as a result of Ratco genetics experiments into making a more appealing variety of rat.

Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Keep it!

It's an interesting if horrifying curiosity. And it might fetch a price, somewhere.

Ignore it

A creature so majestic should be allowed to roam freely, spread its ratty wings and fly.

KILL IT

CLEANSE THE ABOMINATION FILTH FROM THIS WORLD END ITS MISERABLE EXISTENCE


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


SMASH

KILL IT

Rat Bee!?

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

Even for the Rat Zone, this is a bizarre and distressing sight. You have located a rat bee. It's rather like a rat, but with a sting instead of a tail and also tiny fairy wings. Rumour has it that these terrifying beasts were brought about as a result of Ratco genetics experiments into making a more appealing variety of rat.

CLEANSE THE ABOMINATION FILTH FROM THIS WORLD END ITS MISERABLE EXISTENCE

YOU HIT THE RAT BEE RIGHT IN THE FACE. ULTIMATE KILLER SCORE!<i>!!!!!</i>

You've gained 7 x Rat Points (new total 4,857).

0 change points, 2 more needed to reach level 2.

You've gained a new quality: Crime Level at Suspicious.


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Miniature Rat Egg

What? Why? How? When?

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Bee Achievement

Hivelord Beeton is your unofficial name among the Bee Clans.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Fanciness

Your Fancy Points. Fanciness is important in the Rat Zone, almost as important as Rats. But not quite that important.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.

Bee Lure

This sweet concoction can be used to attract some Rat Bees.


Rat Prizes Lounge!

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.

This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not

Always

Always

One Hundred Rats

Seventy five Rat Points will buy you 100 rats. Alright exchange rat(e).

            75
            You need Rat Points 75 (you have 1)

            75
            Unlocked with Rat Points 75 - you have 1

One Thousand Rats

500 Rat Points will buy you 1000 Rats. Better exchange rate!

            500
            You need Rat Points 500 (you have 1)

            500
            Unlocked with Rat Points 500 - you have 1

Five thousand rats

2000 Rat Points will buy you 5000 Rats. Even better exchange rate!

            2000
            You need Rat Points 2,000 (you have 1)

            2000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 2,000 - you have 1

Twenty thousand rats!

6000 Rat Points will get you 20000 Rats. Best exchange rate? Not quite.

            6000
            You need Rat Points 6,000 (you have 1)

            6000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 6,000 - you have 1

One Hundred Thousand Rats

A whopping 32000 rat points will net you this princely (But not Rat-Kingly) sum of 100000 rats. Best exchange rate? Yes, definitely.

            32000
            You need Rat Points 32,000 (you have 1)

            32000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 32,000 - you have 1

Ticket to Well

No luck finding wells in the Rat Acquisition Deck? Ratco does not encourage well liason, but if you're willing to spend the Rat Points you can get yourself a guaranteed meeting with a well.

            7777
            You need Rat Points 7,777 (you have 1)

            7777
            Unlocked with Rat Points 7,777 - you have 1

Buy a Brew

Need a Horrendous Brew? For some horrendous disgusting reason? The vending machine offers a "delicious nutrient solution", but it's not very nutritious or delicious and is actually rather horrendous.

However, because head management at Ratco believe the solution to be the most delicious thing ever made, the price is quite high. Still, if you can't find any other means of obtaining a brew, this one works.

            15000
            You need 15,000 x Rat  (you have 346350)

            5000
            You need Rat Points 5,000 (you have 1)

            15000
            Unlocked with 15,000 x Rat  - you have 346350

            5000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 5,000 - you have 1


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Rat Prizes Lounge!

Unlocked with Rat Points 1 - you have 4857

The Crime Shack

Unlocked with Crime Level 1 - you have 1

Always

Always


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Ratco Clerking

////Cler-- wait, no, Absolutely No Plagiarism here. Move along.
Anyway, for one reason or another you've been selected as a temporary Ratco Clerk for the day, because one of the other clerks was concussed by a ratfall. You haven't even remotely a clue how clerking works. Good luck.

Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Meddling!

For the good of others. Fiddle with some numbers and make some Rat Points appear in someone else's account.

Send 1000 Rat Points

[Actor] has bestowed a gift of 1000 rat points upon you, through the medium of Bureaucratic Wizardry! How kind. For real.

[Participants] will probably enjoy their rat points. They are free, after all.

For your own good, you selfish jerk. Dump some Rat Points into your own account.

Clerk it!

Oh whatever. You were brought up to trust the Law, and Ratco basically passes for the Law around the Ratzone. Put your head down and pretend to work. You can't escape the rat race that easily.


The Crime Shack

Only visible if you are at least slightly tainted with Crime, the Crime Shack is the place where the Crime Squads hang out, sit back, drink a Brew and regret it intensely. Maybe you can get a word in.

Always

Always

Bribery!

Reduce your Crime Level somewhat using the magic of Delicious Brews. This is more effective than trying to bribe your way out of Jail Zone

            1
            You need 1 x Delicious Brew  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Delicious Brew

Request transfer to Jail Zone

Perhaps you really just want a glimpse of life inside bars. Not the alcohol kind, the steel kind.

Robbery!

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

A matter of luck: the odds are against you here.

The Crime Shack

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

Maybe you can steal some of their Brew supply. Just don't get caught.

Challenge the entire Crime Squad

Fanciness

Your Fancy Points. Fanciness is important in the Rat Zone, almost as important as Rats. But not quite that important.
Clothing or the occasional rare event may provide Fanciness.

An almost impossible challenge

The Crime Squads are known for having very fancy uniforms indeed. Perhaps you should try trouncing them in a Fancy-Off, just to prove your superiority. Win or lose, you'll probably accrue some Crime Level.

Request another's absolution

Using the authority granted to you by the Rat Crown, you can take away all of someone else's Crime Level. This will even work if they're in Jail Zone, allowing you to spring them out immediately.

            1
            You need 1 x Rat Crown  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat Crown

Suspicion no more!

[Actor] has freed you from the chains of having a Crime Level using their kingly powers!

You have eliminated [Participants]'s Crime Level entirely. Pity you can't do the same for yourself.


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Ratco's Promise

Absolutely No Plagiarism is the Ratco motto. Any similarities to other Institutes are entirely a figment of your imagination. <p> Anyway your wages for the day arrive after several long, tedious hours of doing indescribable things with multiple sheafs of documents, all detailing various aspects of rat commerce. An honest day's work, I suppose.</p>

You've gained 63 x Rat (new total 887,999).

You've gained 3,889 x Rat Points (new total 8,746).

0 change points, 1 more needed to reach level 1.

You've lost a quality: Crime Level.


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Miniature Rat Egg

What? Why? How? When?

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Bee Achievement

Hivelord Beeton is your unofficial name among the Bee Clans.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.

Bee Lure

This sweet concoction can be used to attract some Rat Bees.


A Parliament of Rats

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

Here, in the Rat Zone! Live rats! This is an intrusion that you cannot allow. Plus, the rats will round off your collection nicely.

Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Rat Murder!

They're just rats: You're a buff powerful human, there's no way they can even feasibly pose a challenge.

Leave 'em alone

They're just poor defenceless rats! Never mind the fact that you've been bouncing their comrade's corpses throughout Rat Zone's metaphysical mail network.


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Sending Rats!

Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 887999

Rat Prizes Lounge!

Unlocked with Rat Points 1 - you have 8746

Always

Always


Stomp, stomp

A fruitful half hour of rodentine destruction brings you a nice array of Rats, ripe for the sending.

You've gained 21,546 x Rat (new total 367,896).


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Rat Egg

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

A rather common formation in the Rat Zone. It is an egg filled with rats.

Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Smash it!

There's generally a good amount of rats in there, and you could always use more rats. Everyone likes a nice bit of rat.

wait

hang on that doesn't make any sense

Take off an egg shaving

Maybe you can use it in your cooking.


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Sending Rats!

Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 367896

Always

Always


Rat omelette!

Well, not an actual omelette, that'd be kinda gross. You instead get a bagful of rats from the egg. Such is life in the Rat Zone.

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

You've gained 36,486 x Rat (new total 924,485).


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Miniature Rat Egg

What? Why? How? When?

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Bee Achievement

Hivelord Beeton is your unofficial name among the Bee Clans.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Fanciness

Your Fancy Points. Fanciness is important in the Rat Zone, almost as important as Rats. But not quite that important.
Clothing or the occasional rare event may provide Fanciness.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.

Bee Lure

This sweet concoction can be used to attract some Rat Bees.


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Sending Rats!

Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 924485

Always

Always


Rat Prizes Lounge!

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

It's not really much of a lounge, if we're being honest. More of a run-down shack, held up mostly by the sheer volume of corpses it contains. Thankfully, the Rat Zone is perfectly sanitary and the Lounge is entirely free of the hazards and undesirable qualities one would normally associate with a room filled with corpses. A vending machine sits behind a counter in the manner of a shop assistant. Please choose your desired purchase. Currency's Rat Points, of course.

This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not

Always

Always

One Hundred Rats

Seventy five Rat Points will buy you 100 rats. Alright exchange rat(e).

One Thousand Rats

500 Rat Points will buy you 1000 Rats. Better exchange rate!

Five thousand rats

2000 Rat Points will buy you 5000 Rats. Even better exchange rate!

Twenty thousand rats!

6000 Rat Points will get you 20000 Rats. Best exchange rate? Not quite.

One Hundred Thousand Rats

A whopping 32000 rat points will net you this princely (But not Rat-Kingly) sum of 100000 rats. Best exchange rate? Yes, definitely.

Ticket to Well

No luck finding wells in the Rat Acquisition Deck? Ratco does not encourage well liason, but if you're willing to spend the Rat Points you can get yourself a guaranteed meeting with a well.

Buy a Brew

Need a Horrendous Brew? For some horrendous disgusting reason? The vending machine offers a "delicious nutrient solution", but it's not very nutritious or delicious and is actually rather horrendous.

However, because head management at Ratco believe the solution to be the most delicious thing ever made, the price is quite high. Still, if you can't find any other means of obtaining a brew, this one works.

            15000
            You need 15,000 x Rat  (you have 367896)

            5000
            You need Rat Points 5,000 (you have 1)

            15000
            Unlocked with 15,000 x Rat  - you have 367896

            5000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 5,000 - you have 1


The Objective Outhouse

In a mysterious shack, in a mysterious place, a mysterious individual answers mysterious... er, mysteries.

You can get hints and tips about what to do next here! But it will cost you rats. Goods and services usually do, here. Nothing else except rats, though; your other items will not be taken.

Always

Always

Buy a Rat Facts Orb

For the low low price of one million rats, you can buy a Magic Rat Ball, a shiny orb which will teach you facts about rats on the go! Rat Facts are also offered for free with any hint consultations.

            1000000
            Unlocked with 1,000,000 x Rat  - you have 924485

What am I... supposed to do?

The Rat Zone is a big scary place.

            10
            You need 10 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            10
            Unlocked with 10 x Rat  - you have 924485

What's this tournament all about?

Rat combat is just a big ol' mystery.

            100
            You need 100 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            1
            You need Tournament Standing 1 (you have 2)

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Rat  - you have 924485

            1
            Unlocked with Tournament Standing 1 - you have 2

What does this golden rat do?

It's the rat of champions! But surely it actually does something, right?

            1
            You need 1 x Golden Rat  (you have 0)

            1000
            You need 1,000 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Golden Rat

            1000
            Unlocked with 1,000 x Rat  - you have 924485

I'm the king! Uh, now what?

It's good to be king! But what's good for a king to do?

            1
            You need 1 x Rat Crown  (you have 0)

            2500
            You need 2,500 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            100
            You need 100 x Royal Rat  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat Crown

            2500
            Unlocked with 2,500 x Rat  - you have 924485

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Royal Rat

What's this yellow stuff for?

It's very shiny. But what does it <i>do?</i>

            1
            You need 1 x Lump of Gold  (you have 0)

            5000
            You need 5,000 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Lump of Gold

            5000
            Unlocked with 5,000 x Rat  - you have 924485

BOW BEFORE ME, MORTAL...

...but, er, mind explaining what's up with this whole deity thing while you're at it?

            1
            You need Impossible! 1

            1
            You need Avarat of God 1

            100000
            You need 100,000 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            1
            You need 1 x Holy Rat  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with Impossible! 1

            1
            Unlocked with Avarat of God 1

            100000
            Unlocked with 100,000 x Rat  - you have 924485

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Holy Rat

Home is where the Heart is...

...but what is the Heart for?

            1
            You need 1 x Heart of the Rat Zone  (you have 0)

            10000
            You need 10,000 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Heart of the Rat Zone

            10000
            Unlocked with 10,000 x Rat  - you have 924485

Help! I did crime!

If the Mystic knows everything, then surely they know how to get the fuzz off your tail?

            1
            You need Impossible! 1

            1
            You need Crime Level 1

            1500
            You need 1,500 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            1
            Unlocked with Impossible! 1

            1
            Unlocked with Crime Level 1

            1500
            Unlocked with 1,500 x Rat  - you have 924485

Help! I got debt!

Nobody really knows why losing things to gambling is considered as debt in the Rat Zone. It's just one of those things.

            1
            You need Impossible! 1

            1
            You need 1 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            1000
            You need Crippling Debt 1,000 (you have 1492995)

            1
            Unlocked with Impossible! 1

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 924485

            1000
            Unlocked with Crippling Debt 1,000 - you have 1492995

The Tally...

The Objective Outhouse

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

If the Mystic knows everything, then surely they know about the Tally? This will cost you all your rats, and you will gain nothing

            7777
            You need 7,777 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            1
            You need Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 and Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats no more than 70 (you have 1)

            7777
            Unlocked with 7,777 x Rat  - you have 924485

            1
            Unlocked with Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 - you have 1

Inquire as to the location of Bee Zone

This Mystic is aware of many secrets, but Bee Zone is one of the biggest secrets of all.

            1
            You need Uncovering Hints of Bee Zone 1

            1
            You need 1 x Rat Bee  (you have 10)

            8222
            You need 8,222 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            1
            Unlocked with Uncovering Hints of Bee Zone 1

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat Bee  - you have 10

            8222
            Unlocked with 8,222 x Rat  - you have 924485


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


The Objective Outhouse

Always

Buy a Rat Facts Orb

            1000000
            Unlocked with 1,000,000 x Rat  - you have 367896

What am I... supposed to do?

The Rat Zone is a big scary place.

            10
            You need 10 x Rat  (you have 367896)

            10
            Unlocked with 10 x Rat  - you have 367896

What's this tournament all about?

Rat combat is just a big ol' mystery.

            100
            You need 100 x Rat  (you have 367896)

            1
            You need Tournament Standing 1 (you have 1)

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Rat  - you have 367896

            1
            Unlocked with Tournament Standing 1 - you have 1

What does this golden rat do?

            1
            You need 1 x Golden Rat  (you have 0)

            1000
            You need 1,000 x Rat  (you have 367896)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Golden Rat

            1000
            Unlocked with 1,000 x Rat  - you have 367896

I'm the king! Uh, now what?

            1
            You need 1 x Rat Crown  (you have 0)

            2500
            You need 2,500 x Rat  (you have 367896)

            100
            You need 100 x Royal Rat  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat Crown

            2500
            Unlocked with 2,500 x Rat  - you have 367896

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Royal Rat

What's this yellow stuff for?

            1
            You need 1 x Lump of Gold  (you have 0)

            5000
            You need 5,000 x Rat  (you have 367896)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Lump of Gold

            5000
            Unlocked with 5,000 x Rat  - you have 367896

BOW BEFORE ME, MORTAL...

            1
            You need Impossible! 1

            1
            You need Avarat of God 1

            100000
            You need 100,000 x Rat  (you have 367896)

            1
            You need 1 x Holy Rat  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with Impossible! 1

            1
            Unlocked with Avarat of God 1

            100000
            Unlocked with 100,000 x Rat  - you have 367896

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Holy Rat

Home is where the Heart is...

...but what is the Heart for?

            1
            You need 1 x Heart of the Rat Zone  (you have 0)

            10000
            You need 10,000 x Rat  (you have 367896)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Heart of the Rat Zone

            10000
            Unlocked with 10,000 x Rat  - you have 367896

Help! I did crime!

            1
            You need Impossible! 1

            1
            You need Crime Level 1 (you have 4)

            1500
            You need 1,500 x Rat  (you have 367896)

            1
            Unlocked with Impossible! 1

            1
            Unlocked with Crime Level 1 - you have 4

            1500
            Unlocked with 1,500 x Rat  - you have 367896

Help! I got debt!

            1
            You need Impossible! 1

            1
            You need 1 x Rat  (you have 367896)

            1000
            You need Crippling Debt 1,000 (you have 538374)

            1
            Unlocked with Impossible! 1

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 367896

            1000
            Unlocked with Crippling Debt 1,000 - you have 538374

The Tally...

            7777
            You need 7,777 x Rat  (you have 367896)

            1
            You need Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 and Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats no more than 70 (you have 1)

            7777
            Unlocked with 7,777 x Rat  - you have 367896

            1
            Unlocked with Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 - you have 1

Inquire as to the location of Bee Zone

            1
            You need Uncovering Hints of Bee Zone 1

            1
            You need 1 x Rat Bee  (you have 4)

            8222
            You need 8,222 x Rat  (you have 367896)

            1
            Unlocked with Uncovering Hints of Bee Zone 1

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat Bee  - you have 4

            8222
            Unlocked with 8,222 x Rat  - you have 367896


Sending Rats!

Well, here we are. The nub and/or crux of this Video Game, is, of course, to send rats. And that is what this is for. To send rats. Sending rats will gain you Rat Points, which can be used to buy Prizes from the Rat Prizes Lounge, which will show up whenever you actually have a Rat Point.

This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not

Always

Always

Ten Rats

You are going to send rats to another person. Do not question the hows and whys, the Rat Zone will handle all the postage and delivery stuff. Give 10 rodent corpses to another Rat Zone dweller.

            10
            You need 10 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            10
            Unlocked with 10 x Rat  - you have 924485

One Hundred Rats

Your entire starting budget's worth of rats! Maybe it is your entire starting budget, if you're impatient and really want to give someone all of your rats. It's OK. I won't judge.

            100
            You need 100 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Rat  - you have 924485

One Thousand Rats

Now this, this is a lot of rats. Perhaps enough to provide restitution for any of your past crimes. They do say that in the end, all sins are forgiven. Maybe not if you killed all of these rats yourself though, that'd probably get you a reputation as a war criminal among rats.

            1000
            You need 1,000 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            1000
            Unlocked with 1,000 x Rat  - you have 924485

Ten Thousand Rats

You could probably kill someone with this many rats. But you're not going to, because this is the Rat Zone, a peaceful land of co-operation and rats. Mostly the latter. This many rats will get you a small surplus benefit of Rat Points. Not many, but they're there.

            10000
            Unlocked with 10,000 x Rat  - you have 924485

Fifty Thousand Rats

Now this is a king's bounty! But not a Rat King's bounty, because 50000 rats isn't enough to be a Rat King. How many is enough? More than you have. Again, a small surplus bonus. It could be bigger, but it'll save you sending a few rats.

            50000
            Unlocked with 50,000 x Rat  - you have 924485

SEVEN

A well told you about the secret Tally of Rats, hidden away and forgotten about. It informed you that you could learn of this Tally, but a great sacrifice must be made. Namely, the sacrifice of seven hundred and seventy seven thousand, seven hundred and seventy seven rats. These rats must be sent to a "friend" at a time when any rational sane human being would be asleep. You believed the well, because you generally believe in stonework. Good honest stonework. It's a hole in the ground, how could it be wrong?

            777777
            You need 777,777 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            1
            You need Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 (you have 1)

            777777
            Unlocked with 777,777 x Rat  - you have 924485

            1
            Unlocked with Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 - you have 1

One Hundred Thousand Rats

A literal mountain of rats. If it weren't for the strange Rat Storage Zone, this towering pillar would probably block out the sun, acting as a monolithic reminder as to the hubris of man. And you're going to give all these rats to another person, because you either really like or absolutely detest them.

            100000
            Unlocked with 100,000 x Rat  - you have 924485

All your rats!

Send someone all of your rats! All of them! Every last one!

            1
            You need 1 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            1
            You need 1 x Key of Dreams  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 924485

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Key of Dreams

Bees!

Send someone three bees. Maybe they really like bees, or maybe this is some dastardly plot to sting them to death. Bees!

            3
            You need 3 x Rat Bee  (you have 10)

            3
            Unlocked with 3 x Rat Bee  - you have 10


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Rataholics Anonymous

Need to discuss your rat issues, or maybe just find some hapless victim to dump rats onto? This is the place for that, as laid out in the Rat Codes of Practise. Please note that the name has nothing to do with Ratahol. We're not even sure Ratahol exists, and if it does it's probably illegal.

Always

Locate rathavers in your area

Rathavers willing to both send and receive rats are waiting at your call.

Send a Message

Rats are the medium of communication du jour in the Rat Zone, but if you're a bit snobbish, you can send a letter the old fashioned way.
NOTE: if you don't put anything in the message box, no message will actually be sent.

Die

If you want to, I won't stop you.

Go to the Emblem Emporium

A fancy place!

You may change your avatar here

Go to the Rat Achievement Station

Rataholics Anonymous

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

Where the brave and the bold can have their deeds accredited.

            1000
            You need 1,000 x Rat  (you have 367896)

            1000
            Unlocked with 1,000 x Rat  - you have 367896

The Objective Outhouse

Ask the Mystery Mystic a question, and you shall learn. The Mystic specialises mostly in Rat Zone activities. They're basically a ratty travel agent.

Rat Challenge!

Want to prove your rats are more magnificent and incredible than another person's rats? Prove it, with a rat challenge! The odds are extremely fair. If you have the better rats. If you don't, it's probably highly unfair. Such is life etc etc.

            100
            You need 100 x Rat  (you have 367896)

            10
            You need Rat Points 10 (you have 1)

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Rat  - you have 367896

            10
            Unlocked with Rat Points 10 - you have 1

Minor Fancy-Off

Challenge someone else to a Fancy Off! Win or lose 100 Rat Points!

            1
            You need Fanciness 1

            100
            You need Rat Points 100 (you have 1)

            1
            Unlocked with Fanciness 1

            100
            Unlocked with Rat Points 100 - you have 1

Major Fancy-Off

Challenge someone else to a Fanciness Contest! Stake 1000 Rat Points on your relative fanciness!

            1
            You need Fanciness 1

            1000
            You need Rat Points 1,000 (you have 1)

            1
            Unlocked with Fanciness 1

            1000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 1,000 - you have 1

Go to Boutiqué de Rat

The nexus of high Rat Fashion!

            5000
            You need Rat Points 5,000 (you have 1)

            5000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 5,000 - you have 1

Cook some things!

Don a Chef Hat and deal in the dark matter of Horrendous Brews.

            1
            You need Chef Powers 1

            1
            Unlocked with Chef Powers 1


Rat Tournament!

Aaaaare you ready to ratble? I sure hope so! I don't know how a ratble is achieved but there's one happening right now.

Winning will move you up a branch in the tournament. You will get a tenth of the loser's rats. Losing moves you back a branch, and will cost you some rats. Most actions may loop back, requiring a Perhaps Not to leave so you can do other things.

Always

Always

Next Challenger!

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

A straightforward challenge

Challenge Old Man Wilbur, the rat veteran.

            2
            You need Tournament Standing 2 and Tournament Standing no more than 2 (you have 2)

            2
            Unlocked with Tournament Standing 2 - you have 2

Refreshments!

There are several refreshments stalls just at the fringe of the action. Maybe you can get something for free, being a competitor and all.

Gloat

You have this Golden Rat, other people don't have Golden Rats. Better make the most of it and gloat about it!

            1
            You need 1 x Golden Rat  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Golden Rat

The Gambling Tent

A shady tent some way out from the refreshment stalls is the #1 location for betting and gambling at this event.


Breakfast of Champions

Rat Achievement Station

Congratulation! You collected the Rats and may eligible for an Achievement. Check back occasionally to see if you have got what it takes to get an Achievement. Please use these as a method of bolstering your self-worth.

Note: Achievements may contain dramatisations of real events. Or maybe they're the only real events. Hmm...

Go to the Rat Achievement Station

Rataholics Anonymous

Need to discuss your rat issues, or maybe just find some hapless victim to dump rats onto? This is the place for that, as laid out in the Rat Codes of Practise. Please note that the name has nothing to do with Ratahol. We're not even sure Ratahol exists, and if it does it's probably illegal.

It's rats. It's always rats.


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Rataholics Anonymous

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

Always

Always

Locate rathavers in your area

Rathavers willing to both send and receive rats are waiting at your call.

Send a Message

Rataholics Anonymous

Need to discuss your rat issues, or maybe just find some hapless victim to dump rats onto? This is the place for that, as laid out in the Rat Codes of Practise. Please note that the name has nothing to do with Ratahol. We're not even sure Ratahol exists, and if it does it's probably illegal.

Rats are the medium of communication du jour in the Rat Zone, but if you're a bit snobbish, you can send a letter the old fashioned way.
NOTE: if you don't put anything in the message box, no message will actually be sent.

Die

If you want to, I won't stop you.

Go to the Emblem Emporium

A fancy place!

You may change your avatar here

Go to Boutiqué de Rat

The nexus of high Rat Fashion!

            5000
            You need Rat Points 5,000 (you have 8746)

            5000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 5,000 - you have 8746

Go to the Rat Achievement Station

Where the brave and the bold can have their deeds accredited.

The Objective Outhouse

Ask the Mystery Mystic a question, and you shall learn. The Mystic specialises mostly in Rat Zone activities. They're basically a ratty travel agent.

Rat Challenge!

Want to prove your rats are more magnificent and incredible than another person's rats? Prove it, with a rat challenge! The odds are extremely fair. If you have the better rats. If you don't, it's probably highly unfair. Such is life etc etc.

            100
            You need 100 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            10
            You need Rat Points 10 (you have 8746)

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Rat  - you have 924485

            10
            Unlocked with Rat Points 10 - you have 8746

Minor Fancy-Off

Challenge someone else to a Fancy Off! Win or lose 100 Rat Points!

            1
            You need Fanciness 1 (you have 10)

            100
            You need Rat Points 100 (you have 8746)

            1
            Unlocked with Fanciness 1 - you have 10

            100
            Unlocked with Rat Points 100 - you have 8746

Major Fancy-Off

Challenge someone else to a Fanciness Contest! Stake 1000 Rat Points on your relative fanciness!

            1
            You need Fanciness 1 (you have 10)

            1000
            You need Rat Points 1,000 (you have 8746)

            1
            Unlocked with Fanciness 1 - you have 10

            1000
            Unlocked with Rat Points 1,000 - you have 8746

Cook some things!

Don a Chef Hat and deal in the dark matter of Horrendous Brews.


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Glitter

Boutiqué de Rat

Those who have a large amount of Rat Points burning a hole in their pocket can purchase items to increase their Fanciness. What does Fanciness do? Maybe very little. Maybe a large amount. You will only know if you buy these items.

Go to Boutiqué de Rat

The nexus of high Rat Fashion!

A shiny place. The shiniest place!


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Miniature Rat Egg

What? Why? How? When?

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Bee Achievement

Hivelord Beeton is your unofficial name among the Bee Clans.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Fanciness

Your Fancy Points. Fanciness is important in the Rat Zone, almost as important as Rats. But not quite that important.
Clothing or the occasional rare event may provide Fanciness.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.

Bee Lure

This sweet concoction can be used to attract some Rat Bees.


Ratco Clerking

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

////Cler-- wait, no, Absolutely No Plagiarism here. Move along.
Anyway, for one reason or another you've been selected as a temporary Ratco Clerk for the day, because one of the other clerks was concussed by a ratfall. You haven't even remotely a clue how clerking works. Good luck.

Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Meddling!

For the good of others. Fiddle with some numbers and make some Rat Points appear in someone else's account.

For your own good, you selfish jerk. Dump some Rat Points into your own account.

Clerk it!

Oh whatever. You were brought up to trust the Law, and Ratco basically passes for the Law around the Ratzone. Put your head down and pretend to work. You can't escape the rat race that easily.


Loot!

Cong<b>rat</b>ulations on successfully defrauding one of the biggest and only companies in Rat Zone, I guess.

You've gained 4,724 x Rat Points (new total 4,725).

3 change points, 2 more needed to reach level 5.

Crime Level is increasing...


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Rat Prizes Lounge!

Unlocked with Rat Points 1 - you have 4725

Always

Always


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.


Rat Tournament!

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

Aaaaare you ready to ratble? I sure hope so! I don't know how a ratble is achieved but there's one happening right now.

Winning will move you up a branch in the tournament. You will get a tenth of the loser's rats. Losing moves you back a branch, and will cost you some rats. Most actions may loop back, requiring a Perhaps Not to leave so you can do other things.

Always

Always

Next Challenger!

A straightforward challenge

Challenge Old Man Wilbur, the rat veteran.

Refreshments!

There are several refreshments stalls just at the fringe of the action. Maybe you can get something for free, being a competitor and all.

Gloat

You have this Golden Rat, other people don't have Golden Rats. Better make the most of it and gloat about it!

The Gambling Tent

A shady tent some way out from the refreshment stalls is the #1 location for betting and gambling at this event.


Rat Gambling

Roll up, roll up! Bet a rat, maybe win a rat! The odds are... whatever the odds are today. Maybe you'll win the jackpot! Legend says it's enough to become a King, right there on the spot.

Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Gamble

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

A matter of luck: it could go either way.

Put one thousand rats in the Magic Wheel of Rat Fortune. If you win, you receive ten thousand rats. If you fail, you lose your rats. Maybe you'll hit the jackpot!

Gamble: High stakes!

Luck

Watch for the fall of a card.

A matter of luck: the odds are strongly against you here.

Put ten thousand rats in the Advanced Wheel of Rat Destiny. If you win, you'll receive two hundred thousand rats. If you fail, you lose your stake.

            10000
            Unlocked with 10,000 x Rat  - you have 367896

Don't Gamble

You don't feel like gambling, or you're afraid of losing all your rats in a gambling binge. It's ok. You don't have to gamble.

Double or Nothing!

A simple game, but one that's made many a scavenger lose their haul. Flip a coin: Heads, you get double your rats. Tails, you lose everything. Are you up for it?

            5000
            You need 5,000 x Rat  (you have 367896)

            5000
            Unlocked with 5,000 x Rat  - you have 367896

Gamble it all!

Double or Nothing? Sure! Time to bet every rat you own!


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Life's savings

Double or Nothing!

You might become very very rich, or you might end up with nothing! Gambling!
<p>[Note: Perhaps Not-ing out of this will cause you to lose half your Gamblerats, and is a minor crime. Don't do it!]</p>

Gamble it all!

            10000
            You need 10,000 x Rat  (you have 0)

            10000
            Unlocked with 10,000 x Rat

This can't possibly go wrong! At all! There's no way you'll end up destitute and bankrupt!

Used for the gambling game of Double or Nothing.

An occurrence! Your 'Gamblerats' Quality is now 367,896!

Your 'Rat' Quality has gone!


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Gamblerats

Used for the gambling game of Double or Nothing.

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

Magic Rat Ball

A dark glass orb with a tiny rat floating inside. Shake the ball to learn a Rat Fact!

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Crime Level

Ratco have heard rumours of increased Crime activity in the Rat Zone, and have deployed Crime Squads to stop it! Be wary of crime. Don't let it get to 5!

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.


Sending Rats!

The Rat Zone

Rat sending simulator 2k13 starting area

Well, here we are. The nub and/or crux of this Video Game, is, of course, to send rats. And that is what this is for. To send rats. Sending rats will gain you Rat Points, which can be used to buy Prizes from the Rat Prizes Lounge, which will show up whenever you actually have a Rat Point.

This storylet will loop repeatedly until you choose to exit it via Perhaps Not

Always

Always

Ten Rats

You are going to send rats to another person. Do not question the hows and whys, the Rat Zone will handle all the postage and delivery stuff. Give 10 rodent corpses to another Rat Zone dweller.

            10
            You need 10 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            10
            Unlocked with 10 x Rat  - you have 924485

One Hundred Rats

Your entire starting budget's worth of rats! Maybe it is your entire starting budget, if you're impatient and really want to give someone all of your rats. It's OK. I won't judge.

            100
            You need 100 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            100
            Unlocked with 100 x Rat  - you have 924485

One Thousand Rats

Now this, this is a lot of rats. Perhaps enough to provide restitution for any of your past crimes. They do say that in the end, all sins are forgiven. Maybe not if you killed all of these rats yourself though, that'd probably get you a reputation as a war criminal among rats.

            1000
            You need 1,000 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            1000
            Unlocked with 1,000 x Rat  - you have 924485

Ten Thousand Rats

You could probably kill someone with this many rats. But you're not going to, because this is the Rat Zone, a peaceful land of co-operation and rats. Mostly the latter. This many rats will get you a small surplus benefit of Rat Points. Not many, but they're there.

            10000
            Unlocked with 10,000 x Rat  - you have 924485

Fifty Thousand Rats

Now this is a king's bounty! But not a Rat King's bounty, because 50000 rats isn't enough to be a Rat King. How many is enough? More than you have. Again, a small surplus bonus. It could be bigger, but it'll save you sending a few rats.

            50000
            Unlocked with 50,000 x Rat  - you have 924485

SEVEN

A well told you about the secret Tally of Rats, hidden away and forgotten about. It informed you that you could learn of this Tally, but a great sacrifice must be made. Namely, the sacrifice of seven hundred and seventy seven thousand, seven hundred and seventy seven rats. These rats must be sent to a "friend" at a time when any rational sane human being would be asleep. You believed the well, because you generally believe in stonework. Good honest stonework. It's a hole in the ground, how could it be wrong?

            777777
            You need 777,777 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            1
            You need Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 (you have 1)

            777777
            Unlocked with 777,777 x Rat  - you have 924485

            1
            Unlocked with Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats 1 - you have 1

One Hundred Thousand Rats

A literal mountain of rats. If it weren't for the strange Rat Storage Zone, this towering pillar would probably block out the sun, acting as a monolithic reminder as to the hubris of man. And you're going to give all these rats to another person, because you either really like or absolutely detest them.

            100000
            Unlocked with 100,000 x Rat  - you have 924485

All your rats!

Send someone all of your rats! All of them! Every last one!

            1
            You need 1 x Rat  (you have 924485)

            1
            You need 1 x Key of Dreams  (you have 0)

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Rat  - you have 924485

            1
            Unlocked with 1 x Key of Dreams

Bees!

Send someone three bees. Maybe they really like bees, or maybe this is some dastardly plot to sting them to death. Bees!

            3
            You need 3 x Rat Bee  (you have 10)

            3
            Unlocked with 3 x Rat Bee  - you have 10


Rat Acquisitions

Perform various deeds: get Rats

Always

Always


Whoah!

Gamblerats? You're going to need to go back to the Officially Sanctioned Gambling Area with those.

Always

Back to the Gambling Area

"Sorry guv', honest mistake, won't happen again"

Sod it!

You don't want to gamble any more anyway. Just ditch half the rats and accept some Crime Level.


Headwear

Hats, masks and other such cranial toppings.

Jewellery

Shiny things! Gotta love 'em.

Jorts

Comfortable and hard wearing. The fashion item of choice in Rat Zone.

Rodent Slot

Vague approximations of a rodent.

Rat Bee

Some horrendous genetic abberation which does not deserve life. Perhaps you can sell it.

Miniature Rat Egg

What? Why? How? When?

Cyberat

The rat.... of the Future.

Rat

This is a common or garden Rat! It is dead. Perfectly sanitary though, I assure you. Well, maybe not perfectly. Mostly.

General Clutter

Miscellany and assorted gubbins.

2k15 Rock

A shattered shard of the Sellout Shack, reminding us of what was once and what will not be again.

Bee Achievement

Hivelord Beeton is your unofficial name among the Bee Clans.

Seeking a Certain Tally of Rats

Are you entirely certain you know what you're getting into here?

Crippling Debt

How many rats have you lost to one thing or another?

Rat Fact

A nugget of wisdom about the venerable Rat.

Rat Facts II

Other facts, about other rats.

Emblem

The pictorial insignia with which you identify most strongly.

Rat Points

The cosmic karmic reward for sending a rat or several. Can be redeemed for things in the Rat Prizes Lounge, and elsewhere.

Fanciness

Your Fancy Points. Fanciness is important in the Rat Zone, almost as important as Rats. But not quite that important.
Clothing or the occasional rare event may provide Fanciness.

Reading the Rat Codes

A fascinating account of the mind of a lunatic.

Tournament Standing

What's your standing in the First Official Glorious Rat Tournament?

Horrendous Brew

God, it stinks. It looks like the most awful thing you can imagine, if said awful thing was put through a blender and then fried in oil high in saturated fat.

Bee Lure

This sweet concoction can be used to attract some Rat Bees.